The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 9, 2013

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Vol 49 Issue 36

Onion Sports’ NFL Week One Picks

OSN shares its expert analysis on the teams that will come away with victory in this weekend’s NFL Week One games: Ravens at Broncos OSN’s Lock Of The Week: Broncos — The Broncos will win this game in a 49-27 rout o...

Nicole Walden

A memorial service will be held Friday for Nicole Walden, the world’s first “Nikki,” who passed away peacefully yesterday at 92.

George Zimmerman’s Wife Files For Divorce

Shellie Zimmerman filed for divorce from her husband of seven years, George Zimmerman, who was recently acquitted in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, claiming that he is verbally abusive, selfish, and that she’s not sure she “ever really ...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Partying

The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 9, 2013

God Feeling Down In Dumps After Death Of Grandmother
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Coworkers Nationwide Embrace Tearfully After Painful 3-Day Separation
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Study: Average Person Becomes Unhinged Psychotic When Alone In Own House
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Bruce Springsteen On Fence About Playing Assad’s Birthday Gig
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Royal Baby Already Making New Friends
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College-Aged Female Finds Unlikely Kindred Spirit In Audrey Hepburn
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Personal Trainer Has Desk
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Assad Unable To Convince Putin That He Used Chemical Weapons On Syrians
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New Skin Cream To Do Something
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Buying Everything Hairstylist Recommends Would Cost $8,000
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R.A. Has Bad Feeling About Kid In Cloak
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Man Puts Glass Of Water On Bedside Table In Case He Needs To Make Huge Mess In Middle Of Night
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Poll: Majority Of Americans Approve Of Sending Congress To Syria
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Mom Loved ‘Fruitvale Station’
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The NFL’s Top 10 Coaches
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