The Week In Review

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Vol 44 Issue 43

Americans Voting Early

So far, more than 5 million people have cast their ballots in states where early voting is available. What do you think?

Swaggering Down 87%

NEW YORK—A wide-legged gait accompanied by an overconfident smile and a jauntily raised eyebrow may soon be a thing of the past due to recent economic turmoil.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

The Week In Review

900-Pound Giant Squid Joins Cast Of 'The View'
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Scott Bakula Jumps Into McCain's Body Just Before Election
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Bush Calls For Panic
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Southern Sheriff Pulls Over Obama Campaign Bus For Broken Taillight
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Closed-Door Meeting To Determine Future Of Honey-Roasted Peanuts
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Tony Womo Out Three To Four Weeks With Bwoken Widdle Fingey
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McCain Clinches Religious Vote With Stirring High-Register Rendition Of 'Ave Maria'
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Dream About You Not Sexual, Coworker Reports
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Flyers Defenseman Ceremonially Checks Sarah Palin Into Boards
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How Will History Remember Pol Pot?
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