The Week In Review

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Vol 45 Issue 47

Nets Announce Team Is In Re-Demolition Mode

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In a continuing effort to destroy their roster and ultimately cause their team's collapse, Nets officials announced Monday that the franchise was entrenched in a long-term re-demolition process.

Several 2009 MLB Awards Clearly Thought Up On The Spot

NEW YORK—A number of players suggested to reporters Monday that, with accolades such as the AL Platinum Baseman Award and the Best Lead Off of the Year Trophy, the Baseball Writers' Association of America was almost certainly making up its year-end honors on the spot.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

The Week In Review

Nation's Fast Food Patrons No Longer Trusted To Dispense Own Ketchup
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Billboard Seems Oddly Proud Sting Will Be Playing At Foxwoods Casino
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Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
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December Named National Awareness Month
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Patriots Lead Colts At Halftime
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Montessori School Of Dentistry Lets Students Discover Their Own Root Canal Procedures
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Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
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Check It Out: Deer
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Nation's Music Snobs Protest Predictable Use Of Metallica, Pantera To Torture Prisoners
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Inside The Obama White House: Specifically The Air Conditioning Duct Near The West Wing
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