HOLLYWOOD, CA—Academy Awards hosts James Franco and Anne Hathaway spent the entire three-hour broadcast Sunday absolutely ripping apart Social Network star Jesse Eisenberg with a barrage of clever one-liners, cutting jabs, and outright name-calling.
OKLAHOMA CITY—Speaking to members of her book club Wednesday, 38-year-old Lorraine Stern explained it's not that she didn't enjoy this month's selection, it's just that she didn’t love it quite as much as some of the other members in the group...
Our inbox has been flooded with emails of support for Tillis following his decision to step down.
"God bless you,Tillis. Best of luck in all your drinking."
--Jacob E., Franklin, KY
"My friends and I will pour a bottle of gin on the sidew...
After several teens drowned in bathtub in Wilmette, the Illinois legislature is considering a bill that would require safety equipment like guardrails, graded gravel paths, and concrete barricades be placed around all bathtubs in the state.
Don't miss these upcoming reports by the Onion News Network Special Investigative Undercover Response Team: We all assume there are precautions in place to prevent restaurant employees from masturbating into our food, but is this actually the case? SIURT ...
Produce-related anomalies seem to be on the rise in America. Some examples of unusual activity by genetically modified crops reported in the past 12 months: Large pumpkin dry heaves in fear as two young children attempt to take it home for Halloween (Pie...
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
LOS ANGELES—Offering mothers and fathers a greater degree of control than ever over their baby’s development in utero, UCLA scientists announced a new procedure Wednesday that gives parents the ability to select the sexiness of their child.
SAVANNAH, GA—Admitting he no longer had the energy to keep his negative emotions completely in check, local man James Franklin told reporters Monday that he was now too exhausted to repress both his anger and sadness.