Baseball Imposes Tough New 'Three-Strikes-You're-Out' Rule

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Vol 43 Issue 52

Fantasy Draft Preparation - Ep. 1

Fantasy coach Brad Blevins meets with NFL star Matt Forte in preparation for what Brad hopes will be his team’s first ever championship season.

All-Time Greatest Upsets

Stanford's defeat of top-ranked USC is merely the latest upset in a season that has already held more than its share. Onion Sports runs down some...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Onion Video

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