Christian Slater Reports That Christian Slater Has Still Got That Christian Slater Magic

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Vol 43 Issue 41

Atlantic City Mayor Resigns

After an absence of nearly two weeks in which his whereabouts were largely unknown, Robert W. Levy, mayor of Atlantic City, NJ, returned to office...

Piping-Hot Calzone Missing

WEST ORANGE, NJ—"It was right here a second ago," said the owner of the sizzling Italian sandwich, which was last seen in the office break room at approximately 1 p.m.

Police Tasers Deemed Safe

A recent independent study determined that Tasers are generally safe in the hands of the police. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

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