Highest Blender Setting Successfully Drowns Out Angry Jamba Juice Customer

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Vol 41 Issue 48

Onion Sports 2005-06 NCAA Brackets

Print out Onion Sports' all-encompassing do-it-yourself 2005-06 basketball brackets and decide which of the top 400 college teams you think will go all the way!

Annika Sorenstam Has Another Remarkable Year For A Lady

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Annika Sorenstam, the absolutely adorable doll of golf's lighter, gentler side, and a true lady who has absolutely charmed ladies' golf fans since joining the always-heartwarming Ladies' Professional Golf Association Tour...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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