Lazy Satanist Summons Demon To Walk His Dog

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Vol 42 Issue 40

KISS Guitarist Denied Royalties

Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent was denied claims to royalties for the album Lick It Up by the Supreme Court recently. What do you...

Breast-Fed Babies No Smarter

According to research published in the British Medical Journal, breast feeding does not make babies any smarter. What do you think?

Oct. 4, 1951

Morty And Betty Crocker Executed For Selling Top-Secret Cake Recipes To Reds
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

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