Many Animals Harmed In Catering For New Film

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Vol 48 Issue 09

Danica Patrick

She's one of sports' single-name stars, but even after her first Daytona 500 start, Danica is more well-known for her endorsements than her performance.

World's Youngest Person Born

Meth addicts demand the government address the nation's growing spider menace, K-Y introduces a new line of jam, and Prince Fielder reports to spring training exactly the right amount overweight.

Washed-Up Air Bud Signs With Greek Pro Team

RHODES, GREECE—Ignoring critics’ calls for the aging golden retriever's retirement, basketball standout and multisport athlete Air "Bud" Buddy has signed a one-year contract for an undisclosed amount with Kolossos Rodou B.C., a mid-l...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Partying

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