Scientist Has Nagging Feeling He Left Particle Accelerator Running

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Vol 42 Issue 50

Israelis Talk Nukes

Critics called for the resignation of Israeli prime minister Ehud Olmert after he accidentally acknowledged for the first time that Israel had...

Annan Criticizes Bush

Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan used his farewell address to criticize the Bush Administration for turning its back on human rights and...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

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