Tropical Storm Brings Deadly Cloud Of Worthless Knickknacks Up The East Coast

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Vol 45 Issue 31

Man Running After Bus Delights Bus Occupants

CLEVELAND—Among the factors that contributed to the overall feeling of joy among those lucky enough to witness the spectacle, was the fact that the man was not in very good physical shape, an indication that the act of running was in all likelihood his last recourse.

Apple To Rescue Album Sales

Working in conjunction with four major music labels, Apple plans to bundle the digital albums it sells with interactive booklets that include liner...
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

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