U.S. Dentists Can't Make Nation's Teeth Any Damn Whiter

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Vol 44 Issue 24

Area Grandmother Tries Indian Food

BLOOMINGTON, MN—Witnesses report Eileen Rutherford, 78, was overwhelmed by the unusual aromas but appeared delighted when a recognizable pea rolled out of her samosa.

Cricket Located

IRWIN, PA—In a feat of extraordinary patience, auditory precision, and monklike concentration, 42-year-old Pat Baer interrupted his favorite TV...

CD Sales Down, LP Sales Up

While sales of CDs fell 17 percent between 2006 and 2007, sales of LPs rose 36 percent in the same period. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

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