AUSTIN, TX—Lance Armstrong, the ultra-competitive seven-time Tour de France champion who recently ran the New York Marathon in under three hours, held a press conference Tuesday to announce that he will be taking the next three months to...
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox
8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC
Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!
CINCINNATI—Unaware that it will soon be regarded by his managers as an unnecessary drain on the company’s bottom line, local software engineer Rob Lofland reportedly celebrated a raise Thursday that his employer will eventually use to justify firing him.
SAVANNAH, GA—Admitting he no longer had the energy to keep his negative emotions completely in check, local man James Franklin told reporters Monday that he was now too exhausted to repress both his anger and sadness.