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Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

National Dialogue Dusted Off

WASHINGTON—Following news of a racially motivated shooting massacre in South Carolina that left nine churchgoers dead Wednesday night, the country figured it was once again time to dust off the national dialogue, sources confirmed.

Fraternity Members To Undergo Racial Sensitivity Hazing

EVANSTON, IL—In the wake of a controversial video depicting two individuals in the fraternity’s University of Oklahoma chapter leading a racist chant, Sigma Alpha Epsilon officials instituted a new national policy Wednesday requiring all membe...

Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman

WASHINGTON—Struggling to find an appropriate response to a delicate situation, members of the American news media admitted Tuesday that they remained stumped on how exactly to handle the case of missing mixed-race woman Alison Johnston.

Tips For Being An Unarmed Black Teen

With riots raging in Ferguson, MO following the shooting death by police of an unarmed African-American youth, the nation has turned its eyes toward social injustice and the continuing crisis of race relations.

White Male Privilege Squandered On Job At Best Buy

HAMILTON, OH—Despite being the beneficiary of numerous societal advantages and having faced little to no major adversity throughout his life, local man Travis Benton has spent the last four years squandering his white male privilege on a sales floor...

Zimmerman Found Not Guilty, Technically, But C’mon

SANFORD, FL—More than 16 months after he fatally shot 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in an altercation at a Florida condominium development, neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman was found, technically speaking, not guilty of murder Saturday, bu...

Romney Receives 20-Minute Standing Ovation At NAAWP Event

HOUSTON—During an address Wednesday to the National Association for the Advancement of White People, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney received a lengthy standing ovation from the group of 2,000 Caucasians who had gathered to hear him sp...

Alarming Study Finds More Than 12 Instances Of Racism Occurred Last Year

Number Astronomically High For Harmonious,  Postracial 21st-Century America, Researchers Say

NEW YORK—A shocking study released Thursday by sociologists at Columbia University found that more than 12 instances of racism occurred in 2011, suggesting not only that prejudice based on the color of one's skin still exists, but that it remains di...

I'm Totally Dating A Black Chick

Hola, amigos. What up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things got crazy, if you know what I mean. I got sacked from my job...

June 13, 1967

National Guard Mobilized For Integration of Negro Into Supreme Court

June 13, 1967

National Guard Mobilized For Integration Of Negro Into Supreme Court

I Can't Stand It When Jews Talk During Movies

Do you have a pet peeve—some little thing that drives you completely bonkers? For certain people, it's the sound of a Jewish person dragging her fingernails across a chalkboard. For others, it's when Jews don't signal before making a turn. Me? I can't stand it when Jews talk during movies!

Study: Reality TV, Reality Unfair To Blacks

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a study released Monday by the Center for Media and Social Research, the reality-TV genre is unfairly biased against black people. The study revealed that reality is unfair to blacks, as well.

Oscar Host Chris Rock

Chris Rock will host this year's Academy Awards. What suggestions did event organizers have for the comedian?

HMO Targets Blacks With 'Rapping Good' Health Campaign

MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Advertising executives say they have hit upon an ingenious new way to target blacks: Mount a campaign that co-opts their own language and musical style. "Many blacks enjoy 'rapping' music," said Briggs & Adams Advertising president Sherman Roe, who developed the campaign for HospCare HMO. "And what better way to tap into their market than by 'rapping' good health to them?" Roe's campaign employs the use of a black teenager doing a "rap" for good health. Billboards of the campaign have been put up in black neighborhoods, and radio and TV ads have aired on black-oriented stations in the area. Roe predicts area blacks will, as a result, be "'rapping' happy with their HMO service."

Personal Philosophy Stolen From Martin Luther King Jr.

Washington "completely ripped off" his personal mantra from civil-rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. "Ron's always saying how if someone doesn't have a cause worth dying for, then that person's life isn't worth living," Duncan said Monday. "Nice try, Ron, but you can't fool me. You totally stole that whole idea from Dr. King." Duncan said he hopes King's estate "nails Ron's ass for plagiarism."

Zambia Elects Black President

LUSAKA, ZAMBIA—In a historic triumph for Zambia's African-African community, Bilikisu Adewale, a 49-year-old black man, was elected president Monday.

Anti-Racism Laws Mutate Racism Into Newer, Stronger Form

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Monday by the Center For The Study Of Human-Morality-Legislation Attempts, the passage of anti-racism laws in recent decades may have caused racism to mutate into newer, stronger forms, undermining federal efforts to control the spread of the disease by spawning new strains of "super-racism" impervious to traditional treatment methods.

East St. Louis Rated 'Number One City In America' By Poverty Magazine

EAST ST. LOUIS, IL—The December issue of Poverty magazine, featuring its annual "Top American Cities" poll, hit newsstands Monday, and for the second year in a row, East St. Louis topped the list. "East St. Louis dominated our poll yet again in 2004, topping such categories as unemployment, hubcap availability, and liquor-stores-per-capita," Poverty editor Felicia Banks said. "The city's educational system also rated high, boasting a student-gun ratio of 1:1." Rounding out the top five, in descending order, were Flint, MI; Newark, NJ; Compton, CA; and Gary, IN.

Recently Mugged Friend A Racist All Of A Sudden

CHICAGO—Ever since being mugged by a black man, 28-year-old Caucasian Mark Weisner has become a racist, friends reported Monday. "I used to be more trusting, but I learned my lesson the hard way in October," Weisner said, alluding to the mugging. "Now I'm a lot more cautious around certain types, if you know what I mean." Weisner added that he has "no problem with Asian Americans."

Republicans Urge Minorities To Get Out And Vote On Nov. 3

MIAMI, FL—With the knowledge that the minority vote will be crucial in the upcoming presidential election, Republican Party officials are urging blacks, Hispanics, and other minorities to make their presence felt at the polls on Wednesday, Nov. 3.

Black Guy Doesn't Talk About All The Times He Didn't Get Discriminated Against

DETROIT, MI—Renald Boyd, 27, of course doesn't mention all the times he wasn't discriminated against, sources reported Tuesday. "I had the lease all set up through an agent," Boyd said. "But then, when I went in to sign it, the landlord suddenly started acting all weird and said he had to run out for a minute. We sat there for an hour before the agent got him on the phone, at which point the landlord said he was looking for a 'quieter type.' This country is insane." Boyd naturally failed to mention that the real-estate agent worked with him with no hesitation, and that the taxi he took away from the real-estate agency was only the second one that he'd attempted to hail.

Good Cop, Bad Cop Both Racist

LOS ANGELES—Despite occupying opposing roles in a good-cop/bad-cop dyad, LAPD officers Frank K. McGrew, 51, and Bob West, 36, have one thing in common: They're both extremely racist, 77th precinct sources reported Monday.

I'll Have You Know I Have Several Black Friendsters

Me, prejudiced? Of all the slanderous, hurtful, and untrue things you could say! I may have had a somewhat sheltered upbringing, but I'm extremely tolerant of all kinds of people. I would never pass judgment on someone because of the color of his skin. Look, I'll have you know I have several black Friendsters.

Personal Philosophy Stolen From Martin Luther King Jr.

BIRMINGHAM, AL—According to Jeffrey Duncan, 43, his friend Ronald Washington "completely ripped off" his personal mantra from civil-rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. "Ron's always saying how if someone doesn't have a cause worth dying for, then that person's life isn't worth living," Duncan said Monday. "Nice try, Ron, but you can't fool me. You totally stole that whole idea from Dr. King." Duncan said he hopes King's estate "nails Ron's ass for plagiarism."

U.S. Continues Proud Tradition Of Diversity On Front Lines

CAMP COYOTE, KUWAIT—With blacks and Hispanics comprising more than 60 percent of the Army's ground forces in Iraq, the U.S. military is continuing its long, proud tradition of multiculturalism on the front lines of war. "Though racism and discrimination remain problems in society at large, in the military—especially in the lower ranks where you find the cannon fodder—a spirit of inclusiveness has prevailed for decades," Gen. Jim White said Monday. "When it comes to having your head blown off by enemy fire, America is truly colorblind."

White History Year Resumes

WASHINGTON, DC—Scholars say there is a remarkable wealth of documented white history to explore this coming March through December.

Well, I Think Michael Jackson Looks Nice

I don't understand why some people have to build themselves up by tearing other people down. Everywhere I go these days, I hear people making nasty comments about Michael Jackson's appearance. Well, I think Michael Jackson looks very nice.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Ask A Latina Talk-Show Host

Dear Latina Talk-Show Host,

My boyfriend is 34 years old, and he still doesn't know how to tell time. He's late for any plans we have together! I can't tell you how many times I've missed the beginning of a movie because I was waiting out in front of the theater. We get along great and, aside from the lateness, he's very good to me, so I'd hate to tell him that "time's up" on our relationship. Still, I'm getting seriously ticked off by his tardiness. What should I do?

—Waiting In Wilmington

Dear Waiting,

¡Hola a todos y bienvenidos al Bonita! Soy Bonita Salinas-Vicario. Gracias, gracias. ¡Son demasiadas amables! ¡Quiero a todas ustedes! Hoy en Bonita, tenemos muchos invitados muy especiales. Isabelle está aquí para maquillar a miembras de la audencia. Vamos a tener una discusión sobre la fobia en contra de declararse, y después Enrique Cordero nos enseñará cómo cocinar una cena sexy. ¡Sí, lo oyeron bien, muchachas! Enrique dice que no hay nada que sea mejor que un plato bien caliente de empanadas para animar los sentidos y arreglar la escena para una noche romántica para ti y para alguien especial. Parece interesante, ¿no? ¡Vamos a tener un gran show hoy! ¿Lo pueden sentir, muchachas? ¡Creo que sí!

Dear Latina Talk-Show Host,

Every time my husband's father comes over to our house, he arrives armed with his darned video camera. I wouldn't mind a few minutes of footage here or there, but he has the thing going constantly, even during dinner! I feel like I need to be always watching what I'm saying or doing. He says I'm just being overly self-conscious. What do you think?

—Camera Shy In Camden

Dear Camera Shy,

Nuestra primera invitada es una mujer bien dinámica, alguien que está explorando una carrera muy excitante y tiene su propio negocio aquí en Los Angeles. Sí, es muy trabajadora. ¡Soy muy orgullosa de esta mujer especial! Y es una madre de tres, también. Escribió un libro sobre su carrera como hipnoterapista–Hipnoterapia, La Salvavida. Esta es una carrera muy estimulante, y ya sé que ustedes la van a amar. ¡Yo la amo! Todas, Linda Fernández. Pues, ahorita tengo que decirlo. ¡Estás guapísima! ¿No está guapa, muchachas? Ahora, de tu libre, averigüé que no habías tenido siempre la energía que tienes ahora, ¿verdad? Chicas, Linda pesaba mucho por varios años. Y estabas descontenta, ¿no? ¿Y piensas que es la razón que terminó tu primer matrimonio? Pero decidiste visitar a un hipnoterapista. ¡Y mira lo que pasó!

Dear Latina Talk-Show Host,

While at a friend's house, I accidentally sat on the eyeglasses he'd left sitting on the couch. Well, as you can probably guess, he now needs a new pair. I told him I was more than willing to pay for the new glasses, and he appreciated the offer, but then we decided it would be fun to ask you what we should do. Who should spring for the new spectacles: him for being careless, or me for being a klutz?

—Two Friends From Framingham

Dear Framingham,

Nuestra próxima invitada es una persona bonita. Conocí a Carmen hace un año, cuando la invitamos al show. Desde entonces, ha aumentado más de $200,000 para ayudar a los niños en Latinoamérica nacidos con SIDA. Dios ha bendigado a esta mujer. Pero antes de que Carmen salga, tengo un anuncio pequeño. Maria, ven acá. No estés tímida. Estás guapísima hoy. Miren su vestido bonito. Ven acá. Todas recuerdan a Maria ¿verdad? Es la directora del show, y es la mejor. Ven, Maria. Sabes de qué tiene que ver, ¿no? Pues, chicas, ¡Maria va a casarse! ¡Todas nosotras están super alegres por ti! ¡Su novio Ruben le pidió la mano anoche! ¡Enhorabuena, Maria! Estamos muy emocionantes por ti, hermana. Eres demasiada amable. ¡Te amo!

Bonita Salinas-Vicario is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly column, Ask A Latina Talk-Show Host, appears in more than 250 newspapers nationwide.

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