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Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

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Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:

Viewers Impressed By How Male Trump Looked During Debate

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying the Republican nominee exhibited just the qualities they were looking for in the country’s next leader, viewers throughout the nation reported Monday night that they were impressed by how male Donald Trump appeared throughout the first debate.

Poll: 89% Of Debate Viewers Tuning In Solely To See Whether Roof Collapses

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Explaining that the American people showed relatively little interest in learning more about the nominees’ economic, counterterrorism, or immigration policies, a new Quinnipiac University poll revealed that 89 percent of viewers were tuning into Monday night’s presidential debate solely to see whether the roof collapses on the two candidates.

New Study Finds Solving Every Single Personal Problem Reduces Anxiety

SEATTLE—Explaining that participants left the clinical trial feeling calmer and more positive, a study published Monday by psychologists at the University of Washington has determined that people can significantly reduce their anxiety by solving every single one of their personal problems.

Trump Planning To Throw Lie About Immigrant Crime Rate Out There Early In Debate To Gauge How Much He Can Get Away With

HEMPSTEAD, NY—Saying he would probably introduce the falsehood in his opening statement or perhaps during his response to the night’s first question, Republican nominee Donald Trump reported Monday he was planning to throw out a blatant lie about the level of crime committed by immigrants early in the first presidential debate to gauge how much he’d be allowed to get away with.

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At ‘Field & Stream’ Magazine

Dear Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At Field & Stream Magazine,

My fiancée wants a small wedding, but my parents are insisting on inviting all of my extended relatives. Her family is small to begin with, so if all these extra people come from my side, it will feel very imbalanced, which is especially uncomfortable because her parents are paying. How can I make everyone happy?

- Under Pressure in Uniondale

Dear Under Pressure,

Ever since going fishing with my grandpa when I was 11 years old, I have been an avid reader of your publication. Now, as a recent graduate of the University of Michigan and an active user of Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and many others, I would like to apply for the position of assistant social media coordinator. I’ve always been fascinated by the intersection of technology and the outdoors, which I examined at length in the March 8th, 2012 issue of The Michigan Daily, my university’s 123-year-old student-run newspaper (see attached). I am proficient in the Microsoft Office Suite as well as Adobe Photoshop and Filemaker Pro. I’m also a task-oriented team player who’s not only a fast learner but knows how to get things done right the first time.

Dear Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At Field & Stream Magazine,

My best friend was recently dumped by her boyfriend of three years and she has been calling me several times a day for support ever since. I want to be there for her, but the calls take up almost all of my free time, and my patience is starting to wear thin. How can I tell her to call me less and still be a good friend?

- Concerned in Columbus

Dear Concerned,

I am an enthusiastic, hardworking regular social media user and I am extremely pleased to submit my application for consideration for the position of assistant social media coordinator. At my previous internship at bicycling.com, which is one of the world’s leading websites for the sport of bicycling, I gained extremely valuable experience and developed the skills needed to work in the fast-paced environment of today’s internet culture, which would be very useful in this position. I’m also a writer. I have a strong knowledge of Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft PowerPoint, Microsoft Access, Google Docs, and Quickbooks, and I can type 55-75 words per minute. I graduated with a 3.45 grade point average. I am fluent in English and proficient in Spanish. I participated in numerous clubs and was awarded multiple honors while in college, including Dean’s List. I am confident I am the ideal candidate for this position and if you hire me you will not be disappointed. Your prompt reply is greatly appreciated.

Dear Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At Field & Stream Magazine,

After house hunting for almost a year, my husband and I finally found the home of our dreams. The only problem is it’s $15,000 over our budget and the only way we can afford it is to take money from our retirement fund. Should we bite the bullet and make an offer, or continue our never-ending search?

- Homeless in Howard Beach

Dear Homeless,

The birds were Tweeting when I Stumbled Upon the perfect fly-fishing spot near my home in Montana. I had my Face in a Book and was so engrossed I nearly Tumbl’d down the hill leading down to the water. This is Pinteresting, I thought to myself. There’s probably not another soul around for FourSquare miles. So I LinkedIn a spinner lure to my line and cast using the overhead technique. Where did I learn how to do all this? Why, I Reddit in Field & Stream, where I would love to apply for the position of Associate Social Media Coordinator.

Dear Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At Field & Stream Magazine,

Our beloved Golden Retriever, Molly, passed away last winter and her cremated remains have been sitting in an urn above our fireplace ever since. I think it’s about time to bury her, but my wife is having trouble letting go and seems to think Molly’s ashes can just stay there indefinitely. What can I do to help my wife move on?

- Grieving in Groveland

Dear Grieving,

I am writing to apply to be the assistant social media coordinator at Field an Stream. I recently graduated from San Diego state University with a Bachelor’s Of The Arts degree in psychology and was in my school’s Hiking club. List Your Education Here I have been a follower of @fielddandstream on twitter and tumblr since Fall of 2013 and have retweeted many of your tweets from my handle @mbf1990. In the magazine, I enjoy reading the Field Notes section. As someone who loves hunting, I also get a lot out of the White Tail 365 articles. These, and many other reasons, is why I want to work for Name Of Company.

Confidential To Falling Down In Falmouth,

I applied for the position of assistant social media coordinator four weeks ago and wrote a follow-up letter two weeks ago, but I have not heard back from you yet. I would love to inquire if this position is still available. I am confident I am the ideal candidate for this position and if you hire me you will not be disappointed. Your prompt reply is greatly appreciated.

Ask Cover Letters For An Entry-Level Social Media Position At Field & Stream Magazine is a syndicated advice column that appears in more than 250 newspapers nationwide.

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