adBlockCheck

Ask Deep Blue

Top Headlines

Recent News

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two shits, so fuck it.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Facebook Clarifies Site Not Intended To Be Users’ Primary Information Source

‘No One Should Really Be On Here More Than 15 Minutes A Day,’ Say Executives

MENLO PARK, CA—Addressing concerns about the site’s alleged bias in how it displays news stories in users’ feeds, Facebook executives held a press conference Thursday to clarify that the social network was not intended to serve as anyone’s primary source of information, and that its 1.6 billion active users should, at most, be spending 15 minutes on the platform in a given day in the first place.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Ask Deep Blue

Dear Deep Blue,

I'm 47 years old and just had my first baby after years of trying. My husband and I are thrilled. The problem is, everybody we know keeps telling us we're too old and that it's not fair to the child. Are we just being selfish, or should they butt out of our business?

—Perplexed In Plano

Dear Plano,

0000000111 0001010111 01010001011 0101010101010101010010101010001010101111 010100000000001000001010100000011 01010010010101010100

Dear Deep Blue,

My son died this May after a long and tragic bout with alcoholism. David was just 23. My family and I are overcome with grief. Could you please reprint that beautiful prayer you ran several years ago for parents who have lost a child?

—Heartbroken In Harwich

Dear Heartbroken,

01 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101 0101

Dear Deep Blue,

The daughter of a close family friend is getting married, and we just received the invitation. But as my husband and I were opening it, we noticed it was addressed only to him. Should I ask them about it? I'm sure it was a mistake. But what if it wasn't? Help!

—Snubbed In Snowdon

Dear Snubbed,

11111101 010000000001111111111001 0100111111100001 01001 001 0000001 0101 0101 00111011111111111111111

Dear Deep Blue,

I recently caught my husband taking money from my purse. We have a shared account, so it's not like he's actually stealing, but it just makes me feel like I can't trust him. Should I say something?

—Unsure In Utica

Dear Utica,

000000011100010101110101000 1011010101010101010101001010101000101010 111101010000000000100000101

Deep Blue is a nationally syndicated advice columnist whose column, Ask Deep Blue, appears in over 250 newspapers nationwide.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close