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How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

Mom Learns About New Vegetable

MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton?

Although she’s secured the Democratic presidential nomination, many voters across all demographics are still hesitant to vote for Hillary Clinton. The Onion breaks down the reasons Clinton is having a hard time luring reluctant voters.

Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.
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Ask Someone Who Writes In To Advice Columns

Dear Someone Who Writes In To Advice Columns,

Despite the fact that we're in good shape financially, my fiancée and I have decided we don't want the hassle of planning a big wedding. The problem is, whenever we tell anyone that our reception will be a simple affair, they always say we must be looking to save lots of money. Will we look like cheapskates if we don't roll out the red carpet?

—Engaged In Englewood

Dear Engaged,

My husband has a work-at-home job, so he usually attends our children's school functions and picks the kids up if they become ill. I never saw this as a problem—until all my daughters' notes from school started showing up addressed only to my husband. I may work 9 to 5, but I'm a full-time parent, too! Am I being oversensitive, or do my these school teachers need a lesson in manners?

Dear Someone Who Writes In To Advice Columns,

My neighbor in the apartment across the hall and I exchanged keys in case one of us ever found ourselves accidentally locked out. I've reserved the use of her key only for emergencies, but she takes carte blanche with mine—letting herself in for all sorts of reasons. Can I tactfully put an end to the open-door policy, or am I getting all keyed up over nothing?

—Annoyed In Arlington

Dear Annoyed,

I love to have big dinner parties! I find nothing more fun than entertaining a group of people, and all my guests say they have a great time, too. The problem is, these parties have started to put a strain on my pocketbook. Is it okay to ask the friends I invite to chip in a few dollars to help cover the cost of the food and wine?

Dear Someone Who Writes In To Advice Columns,

Our friends have a high-school foreign-exchange student from Russia named Sergei, who my husband and I find simply fascinating. We'd like to invite this young man on a sightseeing trip to Washington, D.C., but we feel bad about excluding the couple's other two children. We can't afford a vacation for five! What should we do?

—Budgeting In Boscobel

Dear Budgeting,

Every time our neighborhood holds a friendly summertime get-together, a certain family down the block never fails to show up with a cooler full of beer. My husband and I are trying to teach our children, ages 14 and 16, that one doesn't need to drink to have a good time. Do you think I should politely ask my neighbors to leave the brew behind, or am I butting in where I don't belong?

Nancy Reese is an avid advice-column reader whose weekly syndicated column, Ask Someone Who Writes In To Advice Columns, appears in more than 250 newspapers nationwide.

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