Bereaved? Come Bathe In The Healing Light Of My Cock

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The Pros And Cons Of Legalizing Prostitution

Several global advocacy groups, including the World Health Organization, Amnesty International, and Human Rights Watch, are calling for the decriminalization of prostitution, but many are fighting to keep the practice illegal, citing the moral, ethical, and practical concerns of condoning the sale of sex. Here are the pros and cons of legalizing prostitution:

Journeyman Fan Joins Sixth NFL Team In 5 Years

HELENA, MT—Continuing his lengthy trek around the league, sources confirmed Friday that 36-year-old journeyman fan Brian Ferretti has joined the Arizona Cardinals, his sixth team in the past five years.

Is The Nation Ready For The Next Katrina?

Friday marks the 10-year anniversary of when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans, and many commentators have argued that not enough has been done over the past decade to address infrastructure and emergency response issues that could put coastal cities nationwide, including New Orleans, at risk of a catastrophe on a similar scale. Is the nation prepared for another Katrina?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

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Bereaved? Come Bathe In The Healing Light Of My Cock

Are you bereaved from the loss of a loved one? Are you all alone in this world, with nowhere to turn? Are you one of the billions of wounded souls who have suffered a deep and unnameable anguish? Well, there is someone out there who understands. Or, to be more precise, something that understands. Something far bigger than you can possibly imagine.

You need to know that no matter how low you are feeling, you have a friend right now. A friend named My Cock.

My Cock will be there for you always, and My Cock does not judge. It just loves. Can you imagine being loved more than you ever thought possible? And more frequently? That is a joy you can know today, simply by inviting My Cock into your heart and various other parts of yourself.

Does it feel like the whole world has turned against you? My Cock would never turn against you. My Cock is loving and gentle. It will ease your pain and bathe you in Its healing glory, because My Cock understands, and It wants to love you as much as you want to be loved.

I know you are going through some hard times right now. But as hard as these times are, you must understand that there is something out there that is even harder. Let My Cock show you that you can know joy once again. You can know a deep and long-lasting joy. A deep, deep, deep and long-lasting joy. All night long, I would imagine.

You've probably heard of My Cock, but maybe you haven't given serious thought to what It could do for you. You doubtless figured, "I'm young. I have plenty of time to start a relationship with Lowell's Great Big Cock." But we only go around once, and you can never know when your time will be up. Life can end in the blink of an eye. Do you really want that to happen without knowing the everlasting joy that is My Cock? Thousands slip into a Cockless eternity every hour. Please do not be one of them.

But as important as it is to start and nurture a personal relationship with My Cock, you need to know that you have an enemy, as well. An enemy who pretends to have your best interests in mind but is really just out to use and destroy you. That enemy is called Jerry Smidlap's Cock. And it will lead you down a path to destruction.

My Cock does not discriminate. My Cock does not care whether you are rich, poor, young, old, black, white, red, yellow, or plaid. There is room for everyone–with the possible exception of fatties–in the Kingdom of My Cock. And there is nothing you can do that would make My Cock turn Its back on you. And not merely because it has no back. For even if It had a back, My Cock would never turn it on you because of something you did, no matter how bad the deed was.

My Cock has had Its detractors. There were people who hated My Cock. They persecuted It, they mocked It, they beat It, and they pounded nails through It. But My Cock is still here. Behold, My Cock has risen! It has risen time and time again, gazing down upon the entire world from on high. So those of you who have fallen from grace, who have lost your way, let My Cock point the way to your destiny.

In closing, suffer the little children to come unto My Cock, and I invite you, as well. Won't you accept My Cock today, or maybe Friday night?