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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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I Can Love You Like That

They read you Cinderella, you hoped it would come true, and one day a Prince Charming would come rescue you. You like romantic movies, and you never will forget the way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet.

And all this time that you've been waiting, you don't have to wait no more.

I can love you like that. I would make you my world. Move heaven and earth if you were my girl. I would give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me. If you give me a chance, I can love you like that.

I never make a promise I don't intend to keep, so when I say forever, forever's what I mean. Well, I'm no Casanova, but I swear this much is true: I'll be holding nothing back when it comes to you.

You dream of love that's everlasting. Well, baby, open up your eyes.

I can love you like that. I would make you my world. Move heaven and earth if you were my girl. I would give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me. If you give me a chance, I can love you like that.

If you want tenderness, I got tenderness. And I see through to the heart of you. If you want a man who will understand, you don't have to look very far. I can love you. Girl, I can love you, love you.

I can love you like that. I would make you my world. Move heaven and earth if you were my girl. I would give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me. I can love you like that. I can love you, always kiss and hug you. Baby, be mine, my one and only girl.

I would give you my heart. My heart. My heart. My world. Show you you're everything. Oh, you're everything to me. Love you like... I can, I can love you. If you let me love you... heaven and earth if you were my girl... my, my girl... I would give you my heart... my world... show you you're everything.

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