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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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I Can Love You Like That

They read you Cinderella, you hoped it would come true, and one day a Prince Charming would come rescue you. You like romantic movies, and you never will forget the way you felt when Romeo kissed Juliet.

And all this time that you've been waiting, you don't have to wait no more.

I can love you like that. I would make you my world. Move heaven and earth if you were my girl. I would give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me. If you give me a chance, I can love you like that.

I never make a promise I don't intend to keep, so when I say forever, forever's what I mean. Well, I'm no Casanova, but I swear this much is true: I'll be holding nothing back when it comes to you.

You dream of love that's everlasting. Well, baby, open up your eyes.

I can love you like that. I would make you my world. Move heaven and earth if you were my girl. I would give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me. If you give me a chance, I can love you like that.

If you want tenderness, I got tenderness. And I see through to the heart of you. If you want a man who will understand, you don't have to look very far. I can love you. Girl, I can love you, love you.

I can love you like that. I would make you my world. Move heaven and earth if you were my girl. I would give you my heart, be all that you need, show you you're everything that's precious to me. I can love you like that. I can love you, always kiss and hug you. Baby, be mine, my one and only girl.

I would give you my heart. My heart. My heart. My world. Show you you're everything. Oh, you're everything to me. Love you like... I can, I can love you. If you let me love you... heaven and earth if you were my girl... my, my girl... I would give you my heart... my world... show you you're everything.

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