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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

I Don't Care How Long It Takes, I'm Gonna Figure Out What That 'L' Word Is

I love a good mystery. When a television program gives you something to piece together, you have a reason to tune in every week. It's like a game. Alias, or 24—that's my kind of show. But I have got to tell you, The L Word really has me stumped. I'm going to figure out what that darn word is, though. I don't care how long it takes me.

After seeing an episode, my first guess was that the "L" stood for "ladies." It made sense, because the show centers on a group of women and follows them as they navigate friendships, romantic entanglements, and life in California. While "ladies" is a strong guess, it's wrong. I know that, because a lot of the first season focused on the relationship between Tim and Jenny. (They had a rough patch in their relationship after Tim walked in on Jenny having a girl "go downtown" on her.) Given that much of the first season was about Tim—a man—it would be a cheat if the "L" word were "ladies."

"L" word... "L" word... Love? Lust? Liposuction? Lariat? Lonesome? This show is long on questions and short on answers, but I love a good puzzle, and I'm not giving up yet!

I have to admit that I've missed a few episodes. Maybe they gave some important clues about the "L" word in one of them. Or maybe, if I listened to the show's dialogue more closely, I'd figure it out. Sometimes I'm a bit too distracted by all the hot actresses making out with each other to catch every word. Well, I hope the second season comes out on DVD quickly, so I can give them all another look. I'll watch them as many times as it takes. I've got the patience to see this thing through.

The show's title sequence is no help, that's for sure. They tease you with something like 50 words that start with the letter "L." Man! You know you're sitting there looking at the word, but they won't give you any clues as to which one is the one. Some that I remember offhand are Liberal, Lickable, Learn, Laughter, Lesbian, Lunch, Literary, Labels, and Loft. But what's the common thread?

Oh, and it doesn't make it any easier that every episode title begins with an "L." Are the creators of this show trying to drive me insane?

Well, I'm a patient man. I'm still writing letters in search of someone who can explain What's Eating Gilbert Grape to me. The "L" word mystery is no different: I have the stamina to stay on the case.

In fact, a part of me doesn't want to figure it out. It's like when I figured out that Leland Palmer had killed Laura while inhabited by the dark spirit Bob. I was glad to know the answer to the mystery, but I was sorry Twin Peaks had come to an end. A good mystery show creates a cultural phenomenon. That's how it is, watching The L Word.

Hmm, do you think it could be Loquacious? Nah. The show's subject matter isn't exactly intellectual, so I don't think the mystery word would be something so brainy. Don't worry—I'll get it eventually.

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