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I Don't Care How Long It Takes, I'm Gonna Figure Out What That 'L' Word Is

I love a good mystery. When a television program gives you something to piece together, you have a reason to tune in every week. It's like a game. Alias, or 24—that's my kind of show. But I have got to tell you, The L Word really has me stumped. I'm going to figure out what that darn word is, though. I don't care how long it takes me.

After seeing an episode, my first guess was that the "L" stood for "ladies." It made sense, because the show centers on a group of women and follows them as they navigate friendships, romantic entanglements, and life in California. While "ladies" is a strong guess, it's wrong. I know that, because a lot of the first season focused on the relationship between Tim and Jenny. (They had a rough patch in their relationship after Tim walked in on Jenny having a girl "go downtown" on her.) Given that much of the first season was about Tim—a man—it would be a cheat if the "L" word were "ladies."

"L" word... "L" word... Love? Lust? Liposuction? Lariat? Lonesome? This show is long on questions and short on answers, but I love a good puzzle, and I'm not giving up yet!

I have to admit that I've missed a few episodes. Maybe they gave some important clues about the "L" word in one of them. Or maybe, if I listened to the show's dialogue more closely, I'd figure it out. Sometimes I'm a bit too distracted by all the hot actresses making out with each other to catch every word. Well, I hope the second season comes out on DVD quickly, so I can give them all another look. I'll watch them as many times as it takes. I've got the patience to see this thing through.

The show's title sequence is no help, that's for sure. They tease you with something like 50 words that start with the letter "L." Man! You know you're sitting there looking at the word, but they won't give you any clues as to which one is the one. Some that I remember offhand are Liberal, Lickable, Learn, Laughter, Lesbian, Lunch, Literary, Labels, and Loft. But what's the common thread?

Oh, and it doesn't make it any easier that every episode title begins with an "L." Are the creators of this show trying to drive me insane?

Well, I'm a patient man. I'm still writing letters in search of someone who can explain What's Eating Gilbert Grape to me. The "L" word mystery is no different: I have the stamina to stay on the case.

In fact, a part of me doesn't want to figure it out. It's like when I figured out that Leland Palmer had killed Laura while inhabited by the dark spirit Bob. I was glad to know the answer to the mystery, but I was sorry Twin Peaks had come to an end. A good mystery show creates a cultural phenomenon. That's how it is, watching The L Word.

Hmm, do you think it could be Loquacious? Nah. The show's subject matter isn't exactly intellectual, so I don't think the mystery word would be something so brainy. Don't worry—I'll get it eventually.

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