I Don't Wonder What Jesse Camp Is Up To These Days

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LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

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Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

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New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

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LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

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Famous Television Finales

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Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 6, 2015

ARIES: One of the worst moments of a person's life is when they finally realize that they're mortal and are going to die, especially when it's a person like you who only sees the cement truck at the last second.

A Timeline Of Upcoming Superhero Movies

Following the massive successes of the Spider-Man, Batman, Avengers, and X-Men franchises, studios Marvel and DC Entertainment have announced as many as 40 upcoming superhero movies to be released over the next six years ...

Sesame Street’s 45th Anniversary: A Look Back

Sesame Street, the long-running PBS children’s television show starring a cast of Jim Henson muppets who teach children basic learning concepts and introduce them to difficult issues, turns 45 this week.

TV Show Under Fire For Depicting Murder

LOS ANGELES—In what is being described as perhaps the most shocking and distasteful moment in broadcast history, the popular primetime television show Criminal Minds is facing heavy criticism today for airing an episode that depicted the act ...
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I Don't Wonder What Jesse Camp Is Up To These Days

Hey, you know who I haven't been thinking about lately? That guy Jesse Camp who I never used to watch on MTV.

I don't fondly remember him winning MTV's "I Wanna Be A VJ" competition back in 1998. It wasn't kind of cool that he came out of nowhere to beat out 4,000 other more qualified hopefuls for the job. I really wasn't rooting for him to succeed from the beginning, and it's not too bad that his star has faded.

Not looking back on Jesse Camp's time in the spotlight, I'm certainly not going to speculate about what's become of him today. I genuinely didn't think that there were big things ahead for him. And I don't remember hearing that he got a record deal or something—or maybe it was that I didn't hear that he decided to take up acting.

Come not to think of it, this really isn't an interesting question. And you know what? I didn't ever hear that he had a cameo in some Britney Spears movie.

I don't wonder how old Jesse Camp is now, either—25, or 30? Boy, that doesn't make you think.

I don't hope he's gotten his life together and maybe started a family. Then again, I ignore the possibility that he got hooked on drugs and booze. With the way some people respond to fame, I certainly don't care to take the time to doubt it.

When you don't think about it, it's not kind of sad certain celebrities fade into obscurity. I guess it's just not an unfortunate byproduct of our media-saturated culture that the media knocks stars like him down just seconds after they make them. In this case, one simply doesn't wonder.

If you ask me, it's not about time that celebrities like Jesse Camp get the respect they don't deserve. Because, really, in their own small way, Jesse Camp and people like him don't contribute to our cultural landscape. Sure, there are shows like The Surreal Life, which I admit I have not been sucked into watching on numerous occasions, but that only covers a handful of the former stars who I can't help not wondering about.

Man. Not thinking about all these people who were once in the limelight really doesn't make me think about my own life. What if I don't contribute anything of value to my culture, too? Will people still not think about me long after I'm dead?

Then again, who am I not to say. It's like I can control it.

I don't think that's what it comes down to, and that's the reason why I can really not relate to guys like Jesse Camp. And I guess that's why I'm so uninterested in what his life is like now.

You know what programming executives should really not consider? Making a whole bunch more of those "where are they now?"-type shows to keep us up to date on our old non-favorites. Because, hey, who doesn't want to know what happened to the red-haired kid from The Adventures Of Pete And Pete?

Me. And I bet you anything the rest of America doesn't, too.

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