I Just Discovered This Hilarious Comic Strip Called 'Garfield'

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Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history

Netflix To Temporarily Remove Every Movie Except ‘Hard Eight’

‘Everyone Should See It At Least Once,’ Company Says

LOS GATOS, CA—Saying that everyone, including all 65 million of its subscribers, really ought to see the film at least once, Netflix announced Tuesday that it will suspend all streaming content except Hard Eight for a full month.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 15, 2015

ARIES: Some things only become funny when you look back on them years later. Conversely, the events of next week will seem funny at the time, but as the years go by, society will gain sensitivity and learn to outgrow that sort of thing.

Your Horoscopes – Week of May 1, 2012

ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 18, 2015

ARIES: Your feeling of impending doom shall come to nothing again this week as the world continues to turn and your life goes on as normal. Perhaps you should consider feeling useless and stupid instead.

Highlights From ‘Go Set A Watchman’

Harper Lee’s buzzed-about new release, Go Set A Watchman, went on sale last week, taking the world by storm with its new investigations of Scout Finch as a grown woman and its divisive portrayal of her father, Atticus Finch, as a racist figure. Here are some highlights from the new book:

Leonardo DiCaprio Agrees To Donate It-Factor To Science

LOS ANGELES—Saying the gift would immeasurably improve their understanding of the ineffable quality that makes certain big-screen stars positively radiate, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles announced Tuesday that A-list actor Leonardo DiCaprio has agreed to donate his it-factor to science.

How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Comic-Con Survival Guide

San Diego Comic-Con is expected to draw more than 130,000 fans to Southern California this year to participate in cosplaying, attend panels, go to film screenings, and learn more about their favorite series. Here are some tips for surviving the four-day conference

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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I Just Discovered This Hilarious Comic Strip Called 'Garfield'

I don't usually spend a lot of time reading the comics pages (you know me: straight to the real-estate section!), but last weekend I found this great new one called Garfield. Man, oh, man, I suggest you remember the name, because it's going to open up a whole new world of entertainment for you. Trust me. You're going to love it.

Okay. First off, he's a cat. But not just any ordinary cat—as if! He's a lazy, fat cat with a whooooooooole lot of attitude. I'm cracking up right now just thinking about him! This cat has an in-your-face approach to dealing with life, that's for sure, and he doesn't care what anybody thinks about it.

I know, I know, at first I had the same reaction you must be having right now: How can an animal display human characteristics? It's just not plausible. But once I got over that initial hurdle, I realized that, odd as it may sound to the uninitiated, there's actually a great deal of comic possibilities in that crazy, seemingly impossible premise.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. You're probably a little confused, taking in so much new information at once. Let me slow down and give you some specific examples, just to convey the general gist of this irrepressible kitty.

Oh, Garfield.

Where to begin, where to begin. There's so much to tell you! Okay. Garfield—who always has this expression of "Yeah, whatever"—lives with his human owner, Jon, whom he just so happens to drive absolutely bonkers with his cynical ways. There's also a dog whom our feline friend does not like at all. (His name's Odie, and he really gets on Garfield's nerves.) All Garfield cares about is eating, and guess what his favorite food is? Lasagna! It's totally fattening, but he eats it anyway, even though he's already fat. He just doesn't care. But that's Garfield for you.

Oh, by the way, don't get him started on weight loss. When it comes to dieting, his attitude is "die" with a "T"! I'd like to see that on a T-shirt. In fact, I bet there's a lot of money to be made with such a venture, if the cartoonist could just be convinced to take a chance on the idea. Anyway, when Garfield's not eating, the only other thing he cares about is—you'll never guess this one—sleeping. You think that's funny? Guess where he sleeps. In pans of lasagna. Can you believe it? Who would ever sleep in a lasagna pan? Well, Garfield, that's who! He loves both so much that he's willing to combine them into one sidesplitting, perfectly irreverent visual combination you have to see to believe.

Garfield's always a bit of a grouch, but there's one day you really don't want to mess with him. Monday. Oh, boy. I've never met anyone who hates Mondays quite as much as this wicked kitty! But, I've got to tell you, as ornery as he is about it, part of me can't blame him. After a nice, relaxing weekend, who in their right mind would look forward to another five days of work (or putting up with Odie's incessant slobbering!) before it's Friday again? Ugh! I thought, "Hold on—this Garfield guy's been reading my mail!" And that's the way it is panel after panel after panel.

He may be one rude dude, but his offbeat quips are a real kick-in-the-pants reality check, Garfield style.

I was so impressed that I asked some of my coworkers about him. Apparently he's been around for a while and he's even in a couple of movies! They star someone named Bill Murray, whoever that is. From what I understand, Garfield himself is up there on the screen, walking and talking like in the cartoon drawings, but in live action, just like any other actor. I guess they can do just about anything with computers these days.

I could go on and on, but you've really got to check it out yourself. Just look in the newspaper under comics, and you'll find it in there. If you can't find it, I have some clippings I could lend you as long as you get them back to me. I promise, this cartoon cat is like nothing you've ever encountered in your life. Forget propriety, forget politeness—when it comes to saying what's on his mind, this is one wisecracking feline who leaves the rule book at home!

This guy is going to be huge—and no, I don't just mean fat.

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