I Just Love The New Channel 29 News At Noon Set

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Vol 36 Issue 34

'Farm Aid Aid' Concert To Benefit Struggling Farm Aid Concerts

INDIANAPOLIS–A special Farm Aid Aid concert will be held Oct. 3 in Indianapolis to raise money for America's struggling Farm Aid concerts, event organizer Willie Nelson announced Monday. "Fifteen years ago, our nation's Farm Aid concerts were thriving, with millions of Americans flocking to see such artists as John Mellencamp, Neil Young, and myself," Nelson said. "But today, with ticket sales dwindling and subsidies nonexistent, countless hard-working Farm Aid promoters have been forced to foreclose on bookings in amphitheaters one-tenth the size of the stadiums they once filled."

IOC: Many Viewers May Be Using Olympics-Enhancing Drugs

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA–The International Olympic Committee announced Monday that it will launch a full-scale investigation in the wake of allegations of Olympics-enhancing drug use by viewers. "We have reason to suspect that as many as 18 million U.S. viewers are artificially increasing their ability to sit through the Sydney Games with illegal substances, particularly marijuana," IOC president Juan Antonio Samaranch said. "These drugs enable viewers to watch NBC Olympic coverage beyond the limits of normal human endurance." Interest-boosting doping, Samaranch said, is particularly rampant among viewers of archery, men's handball, and women's sailing.

Bathroom Smells Like Shit

GALENA PARK, TX–The second-floor men's room of a Sysco Vending office building smells like shit, disgusted employee Art McCune reported Tuesday. "Jesus Christ, it smells like actual human feces in here," McCune said. "I'm serious–it's like someone walked in, dropped his pants and underwear, straddled a bowl, excreted nearly a pound of fecal matter out of his anus, and then walked right out again." Building custodian Byron Withers apologized for the foul odor, assuring Sysco staffers that by the following morning, the bathroom would be back to smelling like bleach.

First Draft Of Paper Inadvertently Becomes Final Draft

EUGENE, OR–The first draft of an English 140 paper by University of Oregon sophomore Mindy Blain ultimately became the final draft, Blain reported Monday. "I was gonna keep working on it and add a bunch of stuff about how the guy who wrote [The Great Gatsby] was affected by a lot of the stuff going on around him," she said. "But then I was like, fuck it." Blain said she spent the time that would have been devoted to a revision watching Friends in her dorm's TV lounge.

Cool Ashtray Found

HAMTRAMCK, MI–An afternoon trip to the Joseph Campau Street St. Vincent's thrift shop netted a cool ashtray Tuesday. "Dude, it totally looks like it would have been on Dean Martin's coffee table," discoverer Marc Reiss told friend Scott Ratner. "It's green ceramic and triangular, and it's huge." The ashtray's most perfect detail, Reiss said, which more than justifies its $2 purchase price, is a raised center featuring a full 12 cigarette notches.

Dental-Hygiene Tips

As the old saying goes, "Ignore your teeth, and they'll go away." Here are some helpful hints for keeping that smile bright and healthy for years to come:

Screw Charity!

I must admit that my relationship with my man-servant Standish has been strained ever since he won a kingly fortune in a sweep-stakes last year. In spite of his new-gotten wealth, he chose to remain in my employ, because it is, after all, the only life he has ever known. But some-times I think it is also because he wants to rub it in my decaying face. Upon winning, he bought all the servants comfortable shoes, including the lowly field-hands. Even the furloughed convicts who boil down pine trees into turpentine in my vast forest have been receiving an extra pullet or two in their monthly rations. Recently, I decided I'd had enough.

Grandma Pulls Pudding Roll-Ups From Recesses Of Cupboard

SHIVELY, KY–Searching for a treat for her 12-year-old grandchild, Edna Leigh retrieved a dusty, faded box of circa-1988 Betty Crocker-brand Pudding Roll-Ups from the darkest recesses of her kitchen cupboard Monday. "Here you go," said Leigh, handing grandson Danny Meyers the long-discontinued snack item. "You like pudding, right?" To wash down the fossilized Roll-Ups, Leigh offered Meyers some Crystal Pepsi from the garage.
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I Just Love The New Channel 29 News At Noon Set

As a regular viewer of Channel 29 News At Noon, I must say that I am very impressed by the revamped set. When I tuned in Monday for my daily dose of Ron Reynolds and Katie Hsu, I couldn't believe the great changes! Some very sharp people must have put their noggins together to come up with the new look.

The most obvious change is that they've gotten rid of the old desk and replaced it with a much more modern-looking one. It's sleek and has these fancy strips of turquoise-ish glass running all the way along the bottom. It's the kind of state-of-the-art desk that truly makes me feel like Channel 29 is the place for "On-Point News You Can Use."

They've also replaced the old chairs with ones that pivot. Ron and Katie really seem to be having a much easier time chatting at the end of segments, now that they don't have to turn their heads to the side all the time. Yesterday, after an "Around The Town" segment about Maggie's Munchables, a new bakery that just opened over on the west side, Katie turned to Ron and said, "Mmm–sounds good." To which Ron replied, "I think I'm going to have to go off my diet for a few days." It was just perfect!

Then there's the new Channel 29 logo on the back wall. I really like it. The old one was just painted flat onto the wall, but this one sticks out and looks three-dimensional. It's curvy and slants a little bit to the right, almost as if it's leaning forward to reach out and grab the news! Plus, there's just a hint of metallic-gold trim around the numbers, which helps offset the fun turquoise color and give it a certain air of seriousness.

I must admit, when I first saw the set, I thought to myself, "Where's the monitor? How are they going to show the footage of the Wednesday's Child's outing with his Big Brother?" I soon found out that they have a special monitor that rises out of a pedestal! When not in use, it's tucked away unobtrusively.

Another smart move was the construction of a special Pet Of The Week alcove. Now, when Donna from the Humane Society drops by on Thursdays, there's a special little area just for her.

And the sports desk is now part of the main desk area, which I'm sure makes sports anchor Craig Cohen feel much more like part of the team. That also means meteorologist Nick Fields now has a much shorter walk from his AccuDoppler weather map to the sports desk for a little post-forecast banter with Craig. Somebody had his thinking cap on when these changes were made, that's for sure!

With the new set has also come a whole new way of doing things at Channel 29. The boring old news-sports-weather format has been broken up, so now they can squeeze in lots of great new features, like Dr. Asa Gregory's "Heart Beats" segment. My other favorites are "Web Watch," "Koats 4 Kids," and "Channel 29 Salutes." On Tuesday, they saluted a local restaurant owner who donates day-old bread to a nearby senior center. It's so nice to learn about the people and places that shape my community!

I've also noticed that, with the new set, the News At Noon team has been dressing in a much more casual manner. While he still wears suits for the 6 p.m. news, Ron has ditched his sportcoat for News At Noon. And Katie has been experimenting with scarves in a way she never would have on the old set.

Why, things are so casual, Ron even jokes around with the camera crew and other people offstage! Sometimes, he'll make fun of Rudy the cameraman's loud Hawaiian-print shirts. Some people may consider that sort of thing unprofessional, but I don't think so at all. I think it's fun! It makes me feel like that barrier between anchor and viewer is broken down, and we're all having a good time together.

Someone clearly put a tremendous amount of time and effort into deciding what the new set would look like. It's obvious that everything was very carefully considered, from the color of the carpet to the size of the new clip-on microphones. Well, their time was not wasted, because people like me really notice these things. Channel 29, you really are "The True News Leaders."

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