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I Lied About Making $80,000 Working From Home... And So Can You!

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Heart Attack A Real Wake-Up Call For Man’s Insurance Provider

HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.

Big-Box Stores Vs. Small Businesses

While massive superstores like Walmart and Target have dominated the retail landscape for years, many shoppers are rejecting them in favor of smaller, locally owned shops. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the two options:

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.

McDonald’s Announces New Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac

OAK BROOK, IL—Calling the new menu item a cool, refreshing way for consumers to finish their meals, McDonald’s officials introduced the Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac during a press event Tuesday at the company’s corporate headquarters.

NicoDerm Introduces New Nicotine Eye Patch

PHILADELPHIA—Praising the product as an effective and convenient means of helping individuals quit smoking, pharmaceutical manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline announced Wednesday the release of its new NicoDerm eye patch.

Disney World Opens New Ordeal Kingdom For Family Meltdowns

BAY LAKE, FL—Touting the new property’s wide variety of unique and imaginative attractions, representatives from the Walt Disney World Resort announced Monday the opening of Ordeal Kingdom, a new theme park specifically designed for full-scale family meltdowns.

Boss Wants Friendly, Relaxed Company Culture In Place By Friday

SAN MATEO, CA—Warning of severe consequences if he didn’t see results, Pantheon Digital Consulting COO Daniel Abelson, 59, told employees Monday he wants a relaxed, friendly company culture implemented by the end of the week, sources within the organization confirmed.

Coca-Cola Marketing Strategist Named New United States PR Laureate

WASHINGTON—In a ceremony at the White House this morning in which his work was praised for its unique contributions to the art of corporate communications, Coca-Cola marketing strategist Lawrence Shaffer was officially appointed as the new PR laureate of the United States, sources confirmed.
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I Lied About Making $80,000 Working From Home... And So Can You!

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE MORE MONEY? Have you ever dreamed about working from the comfort of your own home? Do you wish you could be your own boss, working as much or as little as you like?

I know I've had these thoughts, but that kind of success always seemed out of my reach. After all, what chance do I have of striking it rich? I'm almost 40 with NO SKILLS, NO COLLEGE EDUCATION, and NO CREDIT. Well, that's precisely why I developed the Instant Money Invention Plan. It changed my life... in an instant! From the very first day, I was able to tell my friends and neighbors that I made $80,000 a year working from home! It was SO EASY! I needed NO SPECIAL TRAINING, and there were NO STARTUP COSTS.

With the Instant Money Invention Plan, you, too, can tell people that you've achieved financial independence without even breaking a sweat. DO NOT miss out on this amazing opportunity!

To get you started right away, call for our special informational packet. You'll learn everything you need to know to convince people you are making more money than you've ever dreamed possible. Soon, you'll be saying, "It was so easy!" and "It only took a few minutes a day!" and "Finally, I have the home and car I've always wanted!"

How does it work, you ask? It's simple! All you have to do is make up a story about your AMAZING FINANCIAL SUCCESS. Soon, everyone you know will hear how you made $7,000 in your first month!

Do you own a computer? Do you know the location of a gas station with a copy machine? If the answer to either question is yes, you can send letters to thousands of people you don't know and tell them YOU ARE MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! What are you waiting for?

Wouldn't you like to see your picture in newspapers and magazine ads? Could you imagine seeing your glowing recommendation for the Instant Money Invention Plan in a mass e-mail originating from an untraceable location? Everyone will hear about the fortune you claim you made!

Why slave away at a job, barely eking out a living, when you could have any salary you dream of? How much money do you want to say you make? $25,000? $250,000? $1 MILLION? How about $500 KAZILLION? THE SKY'S THE LIMIT! If you can say the number, you can tell people that's how much money you make!

Best of all, you will pay NO TAXES. And, because you are not taking in any money, this plan is 100% legal. The Instant Money Invention Plan may not be ethical, but it is TOTALLY LEGAL!

This is NOT a multi-level marketing scam. It is not one of those make-money-at-home schemes that don't work. You will not be selling term life insurance. You will not be selling a bunch of worthless products nobody wants. With the amazing Instant Money Invention Plan, you will not be selling ANYTHING. All you will be doing is lying. That's all!

Thousands of Americans receive tax-free money from the government for education, new businesses, and so on. But the problem with these money-making schemes is YOU DON'T QUALIFY. You would have to actually go to school or start a business to get a piece of that pie. But can you lie? YES, YOU CAN! You've done it a million times in your life, to a million people—your ex-wife, your parents, the departmental supervisor at your former job. With the Instant Money Invention Plan, all you have to do is lie about something else... your salary!

Wouldn't it be great to work from the comfort of your own living-room couch, sitting back and watching the money roll in? Of course it would. Unfortunately, there's no such thing. But I'm not talking about some get-rich-quick scheme. I am talking about FOOLING PEOPLE into THINKING you've gotten rich quick.

Wouldn't you like to call up that pretty girl you've had your eye on and say, "Let's go on a luxury Caribbean vacation next month, my treat"? As long as the date for the cruise is far enough in the future, you've got no problems. Why? Because THE FUTURE IS WIDE OPEN. After all, no one can call you a liar and confront you about something that hasn't happened yet.

What do you want? A beach house? A new sports car? Your own private jet? It could all be yours in the future! It's up to YOU to start talking about it TODAY!

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