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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

I Plan To Take Full Advantage Of The Upcoming Q&A With Howie Mandel

When I first heard that the DVD box set of Bobby's World was being released, I couldn't imagine more exciting news. Little did I know that, later that day, I would learn that the hilarious comedian who created the show, Howie Mandel, would be making a personal appearance at my local Sam Goody. And what's more, there was going to be a question-and-answer session.

I knew I had to make a plan to maximize this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

It would be a privilege just to listen to Mr. Mandel speak in person, but to be able to openly address and benefit from the knowledge of the man whose voice graces both Gremlins movies? To tell you the truth, I am still not convinced that this so-called "Q&A" isn't one of the elaborate and sophisticated hidden-camera pranks Mr. Mandel is so fond of pulling and presenting on The Tonight Show.

In the presence of a celebrity, there is an air around them that is electric. In such an atmosphere, it is very easy to lose your composure. After all, this is the voice of Gizmo we're talking about! If I flubbed the opportunity to ask him about his craft, I'd be kicking myself for the rest of my life.

I already know what my first question is going to be. I'm going to ask whether he's okay with me addressing him as "Howie." Or if he would rather I call him "Mr. Mandel." Or even "Howard."

Now I find myself wishing that I had written down the dozens, possibly hundreds of questions I've had for Mr. Mandel over the years. I can't blame myself, though. How was I supposed to know that I would one day be presented with the forum in which to ask them? Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.

Oh! I just remembered one! For my second question, I'm going to ask what it was like to portray the character of Dr. Wayne Fiscus in St. Elsewhere.

Maybe I should also ask him if, as a comedian, it's hard to play dramedy. Something like, "Mr. Mandel, I want to first thank you for coming today. It is a great honor to speak with you, sir. Secondly, you have done extensive dramedy work. I'm curious, do you see dramedy as an inhibition or as a refreshing change of pace?"

It might surprise you to learn that not everyone understands what a remarkable occasion this is. When I told Miriam that I had to cancel on our plans for Saturday, she nearly threw a fit. I tried to sit her down and explain why this was so important, but the more I said, the angrier she got. The sad thing is, it doesn't surprise me. Lately, we just seem to share less and less common ground.

I wonder if it would be too demanding to request that Mr. Mandel answer my question in the voice of Bobby, his curious, hyperactive child character. I believe he would comply. Oh sure, he would probably have a sense of humor about that.

Questions aside, there are more practical matters to plan. Like, there will probably be a few thousand people there, and to get a seat, I should plan to arrive well before the store opens.

I should wear my orange sweater, too. That way, Mr. Mandel will have no trouble identifying me. He can simply say, "You, there, in the orange."

As amazing as this opportunity is for a fan like me, I'm sure Mr. Mandel is looking forward to the Q&A as well. After all, this is a chance for him to get the truth out there at last. For example, I bet he'd be happy to settle the matter of his favorite Muppet Babies voice once and for all. Or to set the record straight about A Fine Mess. In fact, that's probably why he agreed to do the Q&A in the first place.

One thing does worry me, however. That sign at Sam Goody said the Q&A would last only 15 minutes. That means I will have time for one, maybe two questions at the most.

I may never learn the reason why Mr. Mandel chose to shave his head.

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