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I Wish Someone At This Wedding Would Dance With That Girl In A Wheelchair Already

Just look at her. She's been sitting all by herself at the edge of the dance floor for five songs now, but no one seems to care. She must be so lonely, the poor thing, so left out. I really wish someone at this wedding would ask that girl in a wheelchair to dance, because this is killing me. Please. Somebody, anybody.

At first I thought she was happy just watching, but I don't think that anymore. When the DJ played "Macarena," she swiveled her chair a little and kind of scooted on her seat cushion. When he played "Unchained Melody," she swayed her head back and forth, even closing her eyes a couple times. She's also been staring longingly at the other couples while they slow dance, dreaming, I suppose, of what it must feel like. No, she definitely wants to get out there, but she doesn't want to do it alone. And who could blame her?

Oh, man, she just looked around the room at the other people not dancing as if to say, "If you're not dancing and you want to dance, I'm right here. Just ask."

I can't be the only one feeling this tension. There's no way I'm the only one who's noticed the wheelchair-bound 12-year-old in a red semiformal dress, and there's no way I'm the only one looking at her this very second, wondering if someone's going to be decent enough to walk up to her, offer his hand, and make the next three minutes the best of her life. Just a couple of twirls, a couple of arm-pumping motions, just enough to get through "Brown-Eyed Girl." Really, it wouldn't take much.

How come her Dad isn't around? Isn't there an uncle or a cousin who can jump in here? I know she didn't come to this wedding by herself. Why are they letting this happen?

Look, someone has to step up right now. I know it'll be a little embarrassing, and dancing with someone in a wheelchair might be a bit awkward at first. But you'll be the hero of this reception. Everyone watching you and the girl will wish they had your courage and your heart. And she'll never forget you, either. She'll never forget the song that was playing, and she'll never forget how normal you made her feel.

No takers? Too much trouble? Okay, just leave her there. Leave her there and let that Grease megamix serve as a reminder of how she can never expect to do what other girls do because she's just some cripple who'd better get used to watching life pass her by. That's what we want, right?

Come on, someone do it already. She's not going to stay there forever, and then you'll just feel like garbage when she gives up and leaves. Just somebody ask her to dance, okay? She's not going to say no. I mean, she could, but you know she won't.

So it's really going to end like this? Everyone thinking how poignant it is that this girl in a red dress is just fiddling with her hand brake during the "Lady In Red" slow dance when they could be doing something to help that's easily within their power. Like I said, I know it's a little embarrassing, but what kind of person can't find it within himself to do the right thing here? What kind of person can't suck up a moment of discomfort and give this girl the dance she deserves? What kind of person just stands there but doesn't even have the common fucking decency to stop staring?

A real jerk, that's who. A real jerk.

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