I'm A Cloud Factory!

Top Headlines

Recent News

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.

Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions

Man Praying Interviewer Doesn’t Ask Any Questions

MINNEAPOLIS—His mouth going dry and his palms growing sweaty as he arrived at the offices of Regent Advertising Partners to interview for an open account manager position, local man Devin McKee reportedly prayed Thursday that the hiring manager wouldn’t ask him any questions during their meeting.

Origins Of Popular Slang Terms

As the internet helps push new words and expressions into common usage, many may wonder where our most ubiquitous idioms come from. Here are the origins of some popular slang terms and phrases

Intergalactic Law Enforcement Officers Place Energy Shackles On Hillary Clinton

PARADISE, NV—Materializing through a dimensional portal in front of a stunned audience at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, intergalactic law enforcement officers reportedly appeared onstage during Wednesday night’s presidential debate and placed a pair of glowing blue energy shackles on Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

I'm A Cloud Factory!

Puff ... puff ... puff ...

Hey, everybody, look at me!

No, don't look around you—look up! Up here! It's me, the cloud factory!

Watch me work all day and all night. I'm hundreds of feet high. I'm so tall, I can almost touch the sky!

I love what I do. Every day, I give something to my friend Sky. I'm a cloud factory!

Puff! Here's another one, Sky! Puff! Puff!

I make all kinds of clouds—in all kinds of colors! Sometimes, I make white ones. Sometimes, they're gray. Sometimes, they're as brown as the grass or the trees. And sometimes, they're as green as the river.

And sometimes, they're as black as the night!

In the morning, little men go into a little house that sits under me, way below.

Hello, dear little men!

Soon, my tummy starts to feel full. And when I feel like I can't hold any more, out pop the wonderful clouds! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Sometimes, they come out in long, thin streaks. Phwissss...ssssss...ssssssss...

Or sometimes, they're not little clouds at all, but one looooooooooooong cloud that fills up the entire Sky! Chuggachuggachuggachuggachuggachuggachugga...

When Sun sinks away, going to the other side of the world to meet his other cloud-factory friends, the little men come out of the little house.

Goodbye, dear little men!

But I'm not lonely for long, because very soon, different little men come in to take their place.

Hello, new little men!

There they stay all night, and everything starts all over again. And I get to greet my other friends, the Stars, with my cloudy hellos!


Gosh! Did you see that cloud? That one came out alllll orange!

Once in a while, other clouds visit me. I send them little yellow clouds that frolic and play with the visitor clouds. Then, the visitor clouds start to rain. And you know what? Some days, the raindrops come out yellow—the same color as my clouds!

Thank you, visitor clouds!

I have other friends, too. Like the little birds. I love to watch them swoop and soar. They are so beautiful and graceful, and they bring me great joy. I'm so full of joy! I can barely hold it in! So I give them something beautiful back. Just as they approach, I pop out a great big pink cloud!

And when the birds fly straight into the cloud, they do a "rain dance" down... down... down... to the ground. Like a hundred little feathered raindrops!

Come back soon, birds!

One day, after the little men left the little house that sits under me, some other little men came and nailed boards to its windows and doors.

For a long, long time, I couldn't make any clouds. It made me very, very sad. My friends Sky and Sun tried their best to cheer me up, shining brighter and bluer and clearer than they ever had before, and I loved them more than ever before, and I wished I could thank them by giving them a nice yellow cloud. But, try as I might, I couldn't make one.

But then, one day, some little men came by and took the boards off the doors and windows of the little house.

How exciting! What was happening?

The next day, more little men came. A short while later, I felt a rumbling feeling deep down in my tummy.

Was it ... ? Could it be ... ?


Out popped a great big cloud even yellower than the lake!

And to this very day, I still make clouds.

And I'm never, ever lonely.



Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close