adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
End Of Section
  • More News

I’m Always Open To Feedback That I Can Get Defensive About And Ultimately Ignore

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not perfect. I make mistakes, the same as any of us do. We’re only human, after all, and despite our best intentions, we’re bound to make poor choices now and then. What distinguishes us as individuals is how we act when we discover we’ve made a mistake. For me, the answer is simple: It’s all about keeping myself open to feedback that I can get incredibly defensive about and ultimately disregard.

That’s all there is to it! Whether it comes from my employer or spouse, a close relative or dear friend, I welcome constructive criticism, invariably become really, really touchy about it, and then never take anyone’s suggestions to heart.

I’m not the kind of person who just closes himself off to the viewpoints of others. I consider my willingness to listen to another person’s concerns while refusing to accept even the smallest portion of the blame one of my greatest strengths. I’m comfortable enough with myself to hear people out for at least a few seconds before I interrupt, grow increasingly combative, decide I don’t want to hear a word they have to say, and then storm out in a huff before they’ve even finished talking.

That’s just the motto I live by: Reflexively ignore honest critiques and focus intense hatred toward whoever offered them to you.

It’s how I operate at home, at work, at church, and everywhere else. It doesn’t matter if I’m conversing with neighbors, talking to a group of concerned friends and family members, or playing in my Thursday night softball league—communication is vital in every part of life. I want people to feel they can come to me and say what’s on their minds, so I can convince myself their argument is groundless and then contradict them vociferously while failing to give their ideas even a moment of my consideration.

For example, the other day, my coworker Allie brought up how I could be a bit better about finishing my projects on time. As soon as the first critical word left her mouth, I began angrily attempting to justify my lateness in a way that insinuated the fault really lay with her. I subsequently dismissed her observation as biased and self-serving and, most importantly, neglected to alter my work habits in any way.

Feedback received!

Sometimes I opt for a subtler approach, like the time my wife Katherine asked if I wouldn’t mind helping out more around the house and I simply ignored her remark. Perhaps she thought I hadn’t heard her, because I never acknowledged the comment until a week had passed and she left some unwashed dishes in the sink, giving me the opportunity to throw her words right back in her face and deride her as a hypocrite. It’s as simple as that.

Try me: If you notice an area in which I could stand to improve and feel like having absolutely zero impact on my behavior, just let me know. I’m all ears when it comes to taking criticism, stewing about it, and then somehow deflecting it back as quickly and snidely as possible while letting my festering resentment take the place of any actual change.

What’s more, I may vilify you as a person and discount your opinion simply because you had the gall to express it. I may hold a grudge for weeks or even months. I may ask, what the fuck do you know about anything, anyway?

It’s this attitude that’s gotten me where I am today.

So feel free to pop in anytime you’d like to incite my rage and bitterness. I’ll be happy to disregard any thoughts you may have.

More from this section

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close