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What Smoking A Cigarette Does To The Body

With the FDA recently pulling multiple cigarette brands off the market, the conversation surrounding the harmful effects of smoking has been returning in full force to the national stage. Here is what happens to your body as you smoke a cigarette

Childish 12-Year-Old Still Believes In Father

HARTFORD, CT—Saying she just assumed he would have figured it out by now, local mother Kathleen Rivers expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that her 12-year-old son, Dylan, still believes in his father.

Obama Returns From Trade Summit With 5 Stout Ships Full Of Cardamom, Silk, And Indigo

WASHINGTON— Exhausted, berimed with salt, and haggard from his long sea journey, but nevertheless triumphant as he guided his fleet to port following the completion of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, President Barack Obama is said to have made harbor in Washington, D.C.’s anchorage Monday, his five sturdy galleons choked to the very gunwales with the finest silks, casks of redolent cardamom, and great cakes of vivid dye-of-indigo retrieved from the far Orient.

Uber Vs. Taxis

The rise of on-demand car service Uber has been the subject of much scrutiny for its effects on existing local taxi services, with cities unsure how to regulate it and consumers debating which one to use. Here is a side-by-side comparison of these two modes of transportation
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • ‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

    PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.


I'm Mad About Mad About You!

Item! By now, the whole nation knows that televisionland's favorite couple, Paul and Jamie Buchman of Mad About You, has finally had its long-dreamed-of baby. (If you didn't know, you should have—after all, it was only the top rated episode of any television show this season.) But did you know that they will be having more? Yes, in a storyline ripped straight out of today's headlines, the couple is going to adopt several homeless orphans to get them off the street and into America's hearts. By putting a little Eight Is Enough into the show, they are making one of my favorite shows all the better! I think that Helen Hunt and Paul Rudner make a great couple, and I'll keep watching them and their madcap romantic antics until I die! I'm simply mad about Mad About You!

Speaking of today's headlines, I've been bitten by the septuplet bug that is going around! Seven babies! It's simply a miracle! I was rooting for them the whole time. Just think of all the love that will fill that single-income household. I come from a small family, so I've never known what it would be like, but it must be splendid. Seven babies! Wow!

Item! Actor Kevin Kline has a secret... He plays a gay man in a movie! Don't worry, ladies, he's not really gay, he's just an actor playing a role, much like Charles Nelson Reilly or Rip Taylor. According to my sources, the movie, titled In The Closet, is a real scream. And not the kind of scream you'd get from the movie Scream, but rather one of the hooting variety. I can't wait to see it myself. If there's one thing Jackie Harvey loves, it's a good laugh!

And now, from the Ask And You Shall Receive File... As all you Harveyheads may recall, in my last column, I made a plea to the entertainment gods for more of dreamy Selma Hayek. Lo and behold, I just saw her in a commercial! I was so entranced by her beauty that I can't even remember what the commercial was for. (I think it might have been for some shampoo.) Just be sure to watch for it, and, if you do see it, go out and buy whatever product she's endorsing to send those advertising bigwigs a message loud and clear: Selma Hayek is the greatest!

Do dogs really love trucks? That smiling Asian guy with the sunglasses in that car commercial sure seems to think so. One thing's for sure, though: That guy doesn't talk much.

Item! Supermodel (more like super-duper model) Kate Moss is making the rounds... the chicken rounds, that is! My sources tell me that Moss is a super-huge chicken fan, and has decided to go on a worldwide search to find the world's tastiest chicken. No word yet as to which birds are making the cut, but in case you're keeping score at home, Moss is said to prefer fried to rotisserie. I wonder what husband David Copperfield thinks of his wife's other love?

When winter rolls around, I don't just get colds, I get freezings! That would be colder than a cold, of course.

Christmas albums are coming out, and no one could be happier! Than me, that is. I must own at least 75 Christmas albums (eight by Christmas legend Neil Diamond alone). So far this year, I've gotten the Hanson Christmas album, the Chant Christmas album, and a Christmas album whose proceeds go toward a good cause involving diseased children. Some people collect stamps, some people collect vacuum cleaners, but I collect holiday cheer. And if that's wrong, I don't ever want to be right.