How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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I'm Still Dazzled By The 2007 Emmy Awards!

Item! What do you get when you take the brightest television stars, put them in the best theater imaginable and let the cameras roll? No, it's not a new reality series, but rather the greatest awards show of the summer! I'm talking, of course, about the 2007 Emmy Awards, a celebration of the art of television.

I usually try to prepare for the Emmys by watching a lot of television, but this year I had a lot of gardening to do, so I didn't get much of a chance to get myself in the tube mood. Turns out I didn't need it. Ryan Seecrest has really proven himself to be the heir to the Dick Clark throne when it comes to being a natural in front of the camera.

The night wasn't all about good feelings, though. I was sad because Desperate Housewives was robbed! It made me realize how quickly Hollywood can turn its back on a great show. It went away soon enough when Helga Miren won for Best Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie, though. That makes an Oscar and an Emmy for Helga this year, making 2007 the official Year of Miren!

Kudos to the Television Academy of Sciences for making the tough decision to go green this year. The carbon footprint of the entire proceedings was offset by planting a tree somewhere in Oregon. What a lucky tree!

By the way, I'm considering going green myself. I've always been an avid fan of recycling, but now I'm thinking about starting a compost pile. I'm not too keen on keeping a bunch of stinky orange peels and coffee grounds around the house, but if it saves a tree, I'm willing to do my part.

Item! Speaking of television, the new season is finally here! It looks like there's a ton of new shows to capture the imagination, and I can't wait to roll up my sleeves and dive right in! Johnny Gallecki is back, and I couldn't be happier. And another season of Heroes? Super-cool! The new lineup has me thinking: Could Monday be the next Thursday and CBS be the next NBC, with NBC becoming the next ABC?

What's Andie McDowell been up to these days? I see her in makeup ads, but I don't see nearly enough of her where she belongs, on the big screen. Come on, Hollywood! Wake up and smell the casting!

Item! Besides The Transformations, you know who else has more than meets the eye? Actor Shy-Guy LaBoof! From the moment I saw him in Holey Moley, I thought to myself, "There's a kid to keep my eye on." And I was right! With two blockbusters under his belt this year, I think this is really his year. I understand that Mr. LaBoof is Jewish, so mazel tov to you, young man!

Now that the dust has cleared, I am beginning to think I was a little hard on Lindsey Lohen. It's hard to be an entertainment journalist and not hold celebrities up to certain standards. But now that she's pretty much done for, I am going to make a promise. Unless there is some gossip so great that I can't possibly keep it inside, I will not mention her name until she gets another No. 1 movie. Deal?

Item! I'm just gripped by The War, the new World War II documentary by TV filmmaker Charles Burns. Before watching it, I was on the fence about whether those who fought were the greatest generation. Now, I am 100 percent sold. Thanks, PBS, and keep up the good work!

Do they still make NordicTracks? Good exercise should never go out of style.

Item! Seems that exonerated murder suspect O.J. Simpson is in legal trouble again…this time for unpaid parking tickets! Apparently the Juice had been meaning to pay the tickets, but was just distracted, and now has to pay the tickets or face a higher fine! That's what you get when you walk on the wrong side of the law, O.J.!

I think I'm going to spend my next vacation in Vermont. Everyone's always talking about how lovely it is.

Item! What's the deal with all these books about dogs? You can't even walk into a bookstore without running into a stack of them. What about cats? I have three cats and a lot of ideas.

Well, that wraps it up for another edition of the Scoop! Check in next time when I have a great story about James Gandolfini, a trip to the pharmacist, an expired prescription, and a case of mistaken identity. Until then, I'll see you…on the outside!

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