It Hurts My Feelings When You Leave Before The Credits Are Done

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 6, 2015

ARIES: One of the worst moments of a person's life is when they finally realize that they're mortal and are going to die, especially when it's a person like you who only sees the cement truck at the last second.

A Timeline Of Upcoming Superhero Movies

Following the massive successes of the Spider-Man, Batman, Avengers, and X-Men franchises, studios Marvel and DC Entertainment have announced as many as 40 upcoming superhero movies to be released over the next six years ...

Sesame Street’s 45th Anniversary: A Look Back

Sesame Street, the long-running PBS children’s television show starring a cast of Jim Henson muppets who teach children basic learning concepts and introduce them to difficult issues, turns 45 this week.

TV Show Under Fire For Depicting Murder

LOS ANGELES—In what is being described as perhaps the most shocking and distasteful moment in broadcast history, the popular primetime television show Criminal Minds is facing heavy criticism today for airing an episode that depicted the act ...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Internet

It Hurts My Feelings When You Leave Before The Credits Are Done

Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm sure you don't like being told what to do. But seeing you walk out of the theater the moment the credits start to roll, well, it really hurts my feelings. I may not have been the director or one of the stars of Changing Lanes, but I worked very hard in my capacity as assistant to Mr. Affleck.

Did you ever stop to think that behind every name on that movie screen is an actual human being? Did you think second-assistant "b" camera Allan Katz was a fictional character? Were you under the impression that key mod technician Fred Newburn is not a flesh-and-blood human with loved ones? I realize that in a major motion picture like Changing Lanes, the credits are pretty long. But is five extra minutes sitting in a comfortable movie theater too much to ask to make someone feel better about their work and their life?

I don't mean to come off like a martyr. I didn't have the hardest job in the world. As big stars go, Ben Affleck is a really easygoing, down-to-earth guy. But even the best of actors can have their moments. I won't get into any particulars, but it got pretty hairy during those final days of shooting. There were moments when I got pretty down on the whole Hollywood thing. But when I saw my name up on the big screen for the first time, a feeling of pride surged through me. I thought, "I guess it really is worth it. I mean, there's my name, up there on the screen. For a brief moment, millions of moviegoers across the country will see my name and think about my contributions to this film."

How wrong I was.

When I looked around the theater I was in, I noticed that no one stayed through the credits long enough to see my name, except for one guy sleeping in the back. Even my mom almost didn't see my name because of people walking in front of her. I thought, no one knows or cares about who I am. When you put yourself out there so much and no one stops to take notice, it really hurts.

Is it the end of the world if you don't know that it was Dan Palansky who assisted Mr. Michell in the super-8 segment? I'm not going to lie and say it is. But I will tell you that Dan did a wonderful job, and that his friends were so excited and proud that he was able to work on a big film after years of toiling on little films for bagels and coffee and no health insurance. I was excited for him, too.

As long as I'm getting things off my chest, let me tell you something else. We're all pretty sick of the joke, "Man, that best boy sure was awesome in this movie!" You probably don't even know what a best boy is. Not that you care, but a best boy is the assistant to the gaffer (the electrician in charge of lighting). The rigging best boy for Changing Lanes was Gene Hoeschen. And you know what? He did do a great job, and he really would have appreciated it if you'd paid him some respect instead of spoiling his big moment by cracking wise.

Maybe you could rent the Changing Lanes DVD and watch it at home. That way, you could freeze-frame on the credits and take the extra few minutes to read the names. It's not like you're in a rush to get out of there. You're already home.

And if you have a few more minutes to spare, go to the Internet Movie Database (imdb.com) to see what else the people in the Changing Lanes crew have worked on. That way, maybe you can learn a little bit about how films work, in addition to paying a small tribute to those behind the scenes.

Tell you what. Just read a movie's credits once, as a favor to me, and see if it doesn't deepen your appreciation of all the work that goes into making a film. I bet it will. Then, next time you see a movie, you can amaze your friends by explaining the various important jobs they miss out on learning about by skipping out on the credits. Go on. I dare you.

Next Story