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It's Amazing How Much You Can Learn About A Person Just By Hiring A Private Investigator

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Detective Not Sure He Was Close Enough To Partner To Endlessly Pursue Killer

DETROIT—After his partner of three years was gunned down last week while the pair were on duty, Detective David Killian of the Detroit Police Department’s Major Case Squad told reporters Wednesday he was unsure whether he had been close enough to his murdered colleague to single-mindedly pursue the killer for as long as it takes.

Neighborhood Busybody Reports Sound Of Gunshots

INDIANAPOLIS—Once again sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, neighborhood busybody Sally Christensen, 54, reportedly took it upon herself to report the sound of gunshots to law enforcement early Tuesday morning, sources confirmed.

The Pros And Cons Of Body Cameras For Police

Following several high-profile civilian deaths at the hands of police officers, many Americans have called for the mandatory use of body cameras by law enforcement as a means of curbing the excessive use of force and providing clear accounts of officer...

Police Release Haircut-Progressed Photo Of Missing Woman

SYCAMORE, TX—Utilizing state-of-the-art imaging tools in an effort to spark renewed interest in the eight-month-old case, officials from the Sycamore Police Department released a haircut-progressed photo Wednesday showing how local woman Kelly Mance...

How Police Are Revamping Their Tactics

In the wake of widespread protests against police brutality and discrimination, law enforcement departments across the country are instituting new rules and policies to ensure safer practices.

Police Say Conditions Too Nippy To Rescue Missing Hiker

VAIL, CO—Noting that there was definitely a chill in the air, law enforcement officials confirmed Thursday that conditions were too nippy to continue search and rescue operations for Kyle Higgins, a 27-year-old hiker who has been missing for two day...

Police Pleasantly Surprised To Learn Man They Shot Was Armed

LEXINGTON, KY—Following a pedestrian stop Monday night during which they fired their weapons on a suspicious individual, patrol officers for the Fayette County Police Department were pleasantly surprised to discover the man they shot was armed, sour...

The Pros And Cons Of Militarizing The Police

The ongoing clashes between residents of Ferguson, MO and heavily armed police forces—which are equipped with M16 rifles and armored vehicles—have drawn attention to the increasing militarization of police in the United States.
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It's Amazing How Much You Can Learn About A Person Just By Hiring A Private Investigator

Do we ever really know the people we marry? I wonder. Now, I've known my wife Fran for 15 wonderful years, 10 of them in the most beautiful, sharing, and trusting marriage anyone could ever want. But even after all these years, the new things I learn about Fran—with the help of private detective Barry Norman—continue to surprise and delight me.

For instance, every day on her way to work, Fran stops at Dunkin' Donuts to get a coffee. What an adorable little quirk—all the more so because the computer-simulated aerial map of Fran's route that Barry included in one of his weekly dossiers clearly shows that the doughnut shop is seven blocks out of her way. Cute, huh? Well, that's my girl! I wonder if Barry will ever truly document all her funny little ways.

Oddly enough, the receipts that she's tossed out the window—who knew that sweet little wife of mine would turn out to be a litterbug?—show that she has never purchased a single doughnut along with her coffee during three months of 24-hour surveillance. So why would a person go seven blocks out of her way just for coffee, when she doesn't even eat doughnuts? Just another of love's little unknowable puzzles that even the professional services of an ex-cop who charges $500 a day plus expenses can't explain.

Of course, even in a marriage as mutually loving as ours, there are little things you have to work on—but that's just part of what keeps the magic alive. Sometimes, Fran says that I don't listen to her enough, and having pored over the typewritten transcripts of all our conversations from the past three months, I admit I could improve in that area.

Sure, it's all "little things"—but it's those little things that make me fall in love with her all over again each morning. Take her vocabulary usage patterns: According to the old high-school report cards that Barry came across in Fran's parents' basement, Fran was never very good in English, but re-reading the text of our discussions from yesterday, I noticed she used the term "maladroit" in the correct context on three separate occasions.

Isn't that the most adorable thing you ever heard?

I would've thought that it was on some "word of the day" list, but Barry forwards me all Fran's e-mail, and yesterday was "circumambient." And I know for a fact, thanks to photos that Barry has secured, that she does not have one of those word-a-day calendars on her desk at work—she has a Far Side one. Who would have guessed that, after all this time, I'd still be able to uncover a quirky, loveable trait that bears further investigation. I should tell Barry about that.

It seems like ever since I hired Barry, I've seen Fran in a whole new light, and I don't mean the infrared he uses to photograph her while she's sleeping. For example, I never would have guessed that she gets up when I'm sleeping on as many as four occasions a night. That's the kind of thing that doesn't even cross your mind until a man with night-vision binoculars and a telescopic camera lens stations his van across the street from your bedroom window and monitors every moment of the cold, still night.

Isn't that the wonderful thing about love, though? The way there's always some new facet to uncover that you never knew before, little mannerisms they have that you never noticed—like the playful way that, in the footage from the super-miniaturized motion-sensor camera Barry installed in one of the bathroom tiles, Fran spins her tampons around on their little strings.

We've been married a long time, but I never get bored with Fran. I'll bet even after 10 more years, I could still stare at surreptitiously acquired video footage of her eyes for hours.

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