adBlockCheck

My Goal Is To Someday Be A Realtor

Top Headlines

Recent News

What’s Inside Trump’s Tax Returns

Donald Trump’s aides have confirmed that the Republican presidential nominee will not release his tax returns despite numerous public calls for him to honor the expectation of transparency for presidential hopefuls. Here are some of the potentially damning contents that Trump prefers not to release to the public

NASA Launches First Cordless Satellite

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—In what experts are calling a breakthrough achievement that is poised to revolutionize American space exploration and telecommunications, NASA announced Friday it has successfully launched its first cordless satellite into orbit.

Hillary Clinton Holds Infant Grandson Upside Down By Ankle In Front Of Convention Crowd

‘Family,’ Candidate Says

PHILADELPHIA—Seeking to make her case to the nation’s voters as she accepted her party’s presidential nomination Thursday night, Hillary Clinton reportedly began her headlining address at the Democratic National Convention by holding her infant grandson, Aidan, upside down by his ankle and firmly intoning the word “Family” in front of the assembled crowd.

Hillary Clinton Waiting In Wings Of Stage Since 6 A.M. For DNC Speech

PHILADELPHIA—Saying she arrived hours before any of the members of the production crew, sources confirmed Thursday that presidential nominee Hillary Clinton has been waiting in the wings of the Wells Fargo Center stage since six o’clock this morning to deliver her speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Depressed, Butter-Covered Tom Vilsack Enters Sixth Day Of Corn Bender After Losing VP Spot

WASHINGTON—Saying she has grown increasingly concerned about her husband’s mental and physical well-being since last Friday, Christie Vilsack, the wife of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, told reporters Thursday that the despondent, butter-covered cabinet member has entered the sixth day of a destructive corn bender after being passed over for the Democratic vice presidential spot.

Superfoods: Myth Vs. Fact

Though the media often heralds certain foods as cancer-fighting or immune-building, many of these claims don’t hold up to scientific scrutiny. The Onion separates the myths from the facts regarding so-called superfoods

Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

My Goal Is To Someday Be A Realtor

My goal is to someday become a Realtor, and, come heck or high water, I'm going to do it! I've always wanted a career, and, now that the kids are finally old enough not to need me around the house all the time, I'm determined to go for it. As my best girlfriend Patricia who sells Amway told me, there's no better time than the present!

Looking through The Danville Bugle-Post's Sunday Home & Life section this week, I noticed all sorts of women Realtors, and they all looked so happy and confident in their blazers embossed with their company logo. I'd love to have a prestigious-looking blazer like that. Why, if I wore one of those blazers to my church women's circle meeting "by accident," Edith and Sandy would be just green with envy! I cannot wait for the day I get to walk up to those two and hand them business cards with my name on it. The look on their faces will be priceless!

I read in a McCall's article that, to make my dream a reality, I'll have to go to classes for a few months and get my Realtor's license. There's a nice, fancy-looking technical school I always pass on my way to Centrepoint Mall that I'll bet has a good night program. And, if I go to class at night, I can continue working my 16 hours a week at Karen's Crafts. Who says you can't have it all?

I've tried unsuccessfully to have a career before, but this time, I'm determined to do it. It will be completely different from the time I paid $180 to earn an accounting degree by mail. It's too bad that course was so hard, because I was pretty good at math back in junior high, and I was really looking forward to working in an office where I'd have my own telephone and a desk where I could put pictures and plants. I guess I just didn't realize how complicated all those columns of numbers can get.

For a while after that, I considered switching to a secretarial program, but that just wouldn't do: It's always been my dream to be a professional!

And not only is real estate an important, professional field that will earn me the respect of others, it's also one that incorporates my interests. I like to help people, and I've always loved looking at people's homes. Sometimes, I drive around that new part of town behind the Piggly Wiggly just to see if any more of those houses went up with the giant windows and those big things that stick out over the garages.

I must admit, though: It isn't only for the love of the job and the prestige that I've decided to become a Realtor. There's a lot of money to be made, too. I have a cousin in Tempe who's in real estate, and he and his wife have an in-ground swimming pool and three cars! As soon as I get my first paycheck, the first thing I'm going to do is finally get rid of that gosh-awful paneling in the basement. Goodbye, faux wood!

Another nice thing is, with a Realtor's license, I'll eventually be able to go into business for myself and set my own hours. There's no limit to what I'll be able to accomplish once I'm my own boss! Maybe during the winter I'll go to some of those Realtor conventions down in Florida. I'm definitely going to work a whole lot during the cold months so that, in the summer, I can go on vacation or just take a few months off to just relax. I'm so glad I decided to become a Realtor!

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close