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My Seed Is Pure

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Hillary Clinton Holds Infant Grandson Upside Down By Ankle In Front Of Convention Crowd

‘Family,’ Candidate Says

PHILADELPHIA—Seeking to make her case to the nation’s voters as she accepted her party’s presidential nomination Thursday night, Hillary Clinton reportedly began her headlining address at the Democratic National Convention by holding her infant grandson, Aidan, upside down by his ankle and firmly intoning the word “Family” in front of the assembled crowd.

Hillary Clinton Waiting In Wings Of Stage Since 6 A.M. For DNC Speech

PHILADELPHIA—Saying she arrived hours before any of the members of the production crew, sources confirmed Thursday that presidential nominee Hillary Clinton has been waiting in the wings of the Wells Fargo Center stage since six o’clock this morning to deliver her speech at the Democratic National Convention.

Depressed, Butter-Covered Tom Vilsack Enters Sixth Day Of Corn Bender After Losing VP Spot

WASHINGTON—Saying she has grown increasingly concerned about her husband’s mental and physical well-being since last Friday, Christie Vilsack, the wife of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, told reporters Thursday that the despondent, butter-covered cabinet member has entered the sixth day of a destructive corn bender after being passed over for the Democratic vice presidential spot.

Superfoods: Myth Vs. Fact

Though the media often heralds certain foods as cancer-fighting or immune-building, many of these claims don’t hold up to scientific scrutiny. The Onion separates the myths from the facts regarding so-called superfoods

Cannon Overshoots Tim Kaine Across Wells Fargo Center

PHILADELPHIA—Noting that the vice presidential nominee had been launched nearly 100 feet into the air during his entrance into the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night, sources reported that the cannon at the back of the Wells Fargo Center had accidentally overshot Tim Kaine across the arena, sending him crashing to the stage several dozen feet beyond the erected safety net.
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My Seed Is Pure

For eight years I have been the leading supplier of hybrid seed corn in Winneshiek County, and the reason is clear: My seed is pure!

I have come to assume my dominant position in this farm community due to the high quality and timely delivery of my seed. Come to Schmidt Feed & Farm Supply, conveniently located in Kendallville just over the bridge, and you will leave smiling and satisfied in every way, if not utterly amazed at the performance. You must have my seed!

Use my select seed, and your crop will show resistance to blight and drought and be less susceptible to strain stalk diseases. If you do not believe me, I will take you to my farm and show you the potency of my seed. Strong, turgid, fattening plants shoot up through the ground in the torrid Iowa sun.

Grab the thick base of the stalk in your hand and feel that it is alive and growing larger by the minute. Sweat will shine on your face as you ride my massive tractor around the grounds of my expansive farm.

I will smile down at you as you kneel and gently run your hands through the moist patch of dense growth at my most precious, secret spot—the plot of land where I personally test each and every variety of seed corn that I sell.

Ask me for my seed, and the day you have longed for, the day you have dreamed about, will soon arrive: When the corn is large and ripe for the taking, you can place your lips around the heavy cob, savoring the texture, the smell and, finally, the taste as you bite gently and your mouth is filled with sweet juice.

You will then thank me, thank me passionately. For I will have provided you with top-quality farm supplies at a reasonable price! We're just a block from Hill's Veterinary Clinic and the Kendallville Credit Union, so enjoy the convenience of just one trip to town!

For eight years, people have traveled miles for my potent seed, fighting for a place in line. I invite women and men alike to share in my superior seed, but in this day and age, I must be careful. If there is someone who is not fit to carry my seed and bring it to term, whether it be because of a broken wagon or a dry well, I will not waste my seed on them. My seed is select!

Come to Schmidt's Feed & Farm Supply and experience it for yourself.

My oldest children rush about the store to fulfill my orders while I take customers to the back storeroom one by one. There I show them my burlap sacks, heavy and bulging with premium seed renowned for its fertility.

Even if you've heard the stories, you'll still be astounded when I pour my seed out into your hands. My seed corn is guaranteed to be free of insects and rodents and is carefully tested for bacteria, fungus and spore growth.

Bill Edwards of Cloverleaf Hy-Bred Seed often comes to scout out my store. He walks by silently, with his hands in his overall pockets, sucking on a stalk of wheat. I lock eyes with him, and the hair under his John Deere cap bristles, but I do not even flinch.

I have marked my territory—it is all of Winneshiek County—and I will continue to bury my robust seed deep in the land until I am no longer physically able.

Hear me well, good people—mine is the superior seed!

Schmidt Feed & Farm Supply is located two blocks west of the Rhineholdt Dairy on Schoepke Road, just five minutes from the Highway 11 exit.

We're open Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

We also carry heavy equipment, livestock, medicinal supplies and much, much more, so come on down and check out the store! You'll be glad you did.

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