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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

They Finally Got The TV Schedule Exactly Right

It sure took those network programmers long enough. But better late than never, I suppose.

For years, I was convinced they'd never get the TV schedule right. I mean, talk about a mess! Did those geniuses at NBC think I had nothing better to do with my Thursday 8:30 to 9 p.m. slot than watch some weak ER lead-in like Jesse, just because I already had the network on at 8 for the must-see Frasier?

And don't even talk to me about CBS. For months, they had Now And Again on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. Everyone knows that show was made for Fridays at 9! What in the world were they thinking? As long as you're at it, you CBS Einsteins, why don't you take Ladies Man out of its Monday 8:30 slot and move it to Wednesdays at 8:30, opposite ABC's Norm? Yeah, that'd be a great idea!

Things looked truly bleak. But just as I was about to give up once and for all, I opened up my brand-new TV Guide a few days ago and saw that everything had finally fallen into place. The Hughleys on at 9:30 Fridays, Third Watch on at 10 p.m. Mondays... It was all too perfect!

I can barely remember the last time the TV schedule was so right. It must have been around 1985. NBC's legendary Thursday-night lineup–Cosby at 8, Family Ties at 8:30, Cheers at 9, Night Court at 9:30–was the anchor of a sublime, perfectly arranged week. On NBC on Mondays, you had TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes from 8 to 9, then you could switch over to CBS for Kate & Allie, followed by Newhart at 9:30. It was poetic in its simplicity and elegance, a sleek, two-hour jungle cat of prime-time entertainment.

For a brief, shining moment, it was Camelot. But, of course, they had to go and mess it all up. When the 1986 season came around, they'd moved Kate & Allie to 8, forcing me to choose between that and NBC's concurrent offering, the delicious ALF. Then, to add insult to injury, they followed Kate & Allie not with Newhart as in the previous year, but with the subpar Pam Dawber vehicle My Sister Sam. It was awful.

And that's how it was until just this past week. I can't believe that last year at this time, they were making me choose between King Of The Hill and 3rd Rock From The Sun. Why even go through the trouble of making these great shows if you're just gonna run them opposite each other? I mean, I can only watch one at a time, for God's sake! And don't even talk to me about VCRs–it's just not the same.

But, fortunately, all that's in the past. Because after years of waiting, they've discovered the ideal mix. I don't work in TV programming, so I have no idea why it took so long, but there must be a lot of complicated rules that kept them from just putting everything on at the right time. But now that it's perfect, the networks will never have to change the TV schedule again. It's good to see those fat-cat TV executives are finally earning their pay.

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