This Promotional Pen Works So Great, Imagine How Well The Drug Must Work

Top Headlines

Recent News

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Area Man

This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Preparedness

  • Doctors Recommend Getting 8 Centuries Of Cryosleep

    STANFORD, CA—Claiming that the practice is essential for effectively recharging the body and waking fully rested and alert, doctors at Stanford University issued a report Monday emphasizing the importance of getting at least eight centuries of atomi...

This Promotional Pen Works So Great, Imagine How Well The Drug Must Work

Somebody just sent a box of Prilosec promotional pens to our clinic and, boy, am I impressed. It's got a big, comfortable barrel and comes in an attractive purple. And it writes smooth as can be. No globbing or streaking; just a nice, clean, blue ballpoint line. It's also got some really cool writing along the side: "Prilosec® (Omeprazole) 20-MG capsules." Prilosec, huh? This Prilosec pen is so great, I'll bet anything the drug is great, too.

I do know a bit about omeprazole. It's used to treat gastric and duodenal ulcers and gastroesophageal-reflux disease, a condition in which the stomach acid washes back up into the esophagus. Omeprazole eases gastric pain by decreasing the amount of acid produced by the stomach. As it turns out, Prilosec is omeprazole in delayed-release capsule form. Well, the capsule's release may be, but there was nothing "delayed" about the way the ink flowed when I clicked the button at the top of the pen and started to write!

Traditionally, I've shied away from prescribing drugs for the treatment of heartburn. I tend to encourage patients to make changes in their diet instead. Well, that was before I saw this pen. It's a great pen. Yes, this pen completely changes the way I feel about the prescription of omeprazole. Now I'm all for it.

If Prilosec the drug is anything like Prilosec the pen, I bet it works every time. My patients can kiss occasional discomfort from heartburn goodbye.

And talk about instant relief: It sure was a relief to have this pen handy when I needed one a few minutes ago. I wanted to write down a phone number, and the pen was right there—no muss, no fuss. Prilosec, no doubt, offers the same easy relief in pharmaceutical form. How cool is that?

Hmm, I see here that Prilosec is made by a company called AstraZeneca. Well, that name sounds very professional. I'm guessing they're on the cutting edge of pharmaceutical technology. And that logo looks very cutting-edge, too—slick and modern. That's important in pens and drugs. What's more, it's got a retractable tip for one-click convenience, not an old-fashioned pen cap that can be easily misplaced. As a doctor, I know it's vital to carry a fully functional pen, as well as to stay abreast of new advances in health-care products.

This reminds me of the way I discovered the antihistamine Clarinex a few months ago. If you are a general practitioner like me, you know there's no shortage of prescription antihistamines out there. So why did I decide to prescribe Clarinex for treatment of seasonal and year-round allergies? It was the fridge magnet. I couldn't help but notice how effectively it held a piece of paper to the refrigerator in the staff kitchenette. One of the things my patients care about most is convenience. They don't want a drug that's hard to use. This magnet was so easy to use, a baby could have done it. In fact, if the precautions didn't specifically prohibit me from doing so, I would prescribe Clarinex to a baby.

I'm always on the lookout for great new drugs to prescribe to my patients. But I must admit, I'm far too busy to seek them out by reading medical journals and research papers or by talking to my fellow doctors. It really is a huge help to get great drug recommendations by way of hats, T-shirts, coffee mugs, pencil holders, clipboards, and fanny packs that I randomly encounter or that are sent to my office unsolicited.

Thanks, Prilosec!