What A Year This Was!

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Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history

Netflix To Temporarily Remove Every Movie Except ‘Hard Eight’

‘Everyone Should See It At Least Once,’ Company Says

LOS GATOS, CA—Saying that everyone, including all 65 million of its subscribers, really ought to see the film at least once, Netflix announced Tuesday that it will suspend all streaming content except Hard Eight for a full month.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 15, 2015

ARIES: Some things only become funny when you look back on them years later. Conversely, the events of next week will seem funny at the time, but as the years go by, society will gain sensitivity and learn to outgrow that sort of thing.

Your Horoscopes – Week of May 1, 2012

ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 18, 2015

ARIES: Your feeling of impending doom shall come to nothing again this week as the world continues to turn and your life goes on as normal. Perhaps you should consider feeling useless and stupid instead.

Highlights From ‘Go Set A Watchman’

Harper Lee’s buzzed-about new release, Go Set A Watchman, went on sale last week, taking the world by storm with its new investigations of Scout Finch as a grown woman and its divisive portrayal of her father, Atticus Finch, as a racist figure. Here are some highlights from the new book:

Leonardo DiCaprio Agrees To Donate It-Factor To Science

LOS ANGELES—Saying the gift would immeasurably improve their understanding of the ineffable quality that makes certain big-screen stars positively radiate, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles announced Tuesday that A-list actor Leonardo DiCaprio has agreed to donate his it-factor to science.

How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Comic-Con Survival Guide

San Diego Comic-Con is expected to draw more than 130,000 fans to Southern California this year to participate in cosplaying, attend panels, go to film screenings, and learn more about their favorite series. Here are some tips for surviving the four-day conference

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 23, 2015

ARIES: The universe, in all its wisdom, has a plan for everyone. Strangely, you’re supposed to be the nun who holds up a distributor cap and winks while the Nazis try to start their car.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 9, 2015

ARIES: Your death next week will seem in­explicable until people remember the ill-advised 1985 “cross your heart and hope to die” pledge you made to be best friends with Jenny Bosben.

New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In

Declaring the event a rousing success so far, organizers confirmed more than 45,000 people turned out Wednesday for the first annual Cavalcade Folk and Roots Festival, a four-day gathering that consists solely of a big empty field to do drugs in.

Director Seeking Relatively Unknown Actress For Next Affair

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he’s going for a certain look and will know it when he sees it, feature film director Peter Hastings, 52, confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he hopes to find a relatively unknown actress for his next extramarital affair.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of May 26, 2015

ARIES: You’re not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Famous Television Finales

The award-winning AMC series Mad Men ended its seven-season run on Sunday night and drew critical acclaim for its final episode, a conclusion that many felt was poignant and satisfying. Here are some other memorable TV finales across the years

Plan For Future Still Involves Drumming For Lifehouse

SOUTH BEND, IN—Fifteen years after first envisioning the path he hoped his professional life would take, local man Brent Gibbs is still planning his future around being the drummer for Los Angeles-based alternative rock band Lifehouse, sources confi...

Fox Revives ‘X-Files’: What To Expect

After months of speculation, Fox has announced that it is bringing back its hit ’90s TV show The X-Files, about a team of FBI special agents investigating unsolved cases about strange and paranormal phenomena, for at least six new episodes...

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 24, 2015

ARIES: Your belief that everything happens for a reason may remain unshaken in the face of personal tragedy, but you'll certainly be upset when you find out the reason is "to get the Zodiac some chicks." 

Your Horoscopes — Week Of March 10, 2015

ARIES: As long as people don't look too long and the lights aren't too bright, no one will be able to see where they tried to fix your face from what will happen to it this coming Thursday. 

Nation Delighted As Many Famous People In Same Room Together

HOLLYWOOD—Expressing their immense personal satisfaction at the gathering appearing on their television screens, millions of Americans across the country were reportedly delighted Sunday night upon seeing many famous people in the same room together...

Half Of Hollywood Test Group Screened Placebo Film

LOS ANGELES—Saying the methodology helps them ensure unbiased results in their marketing research, studio executives at Paramount Pictures confirmed that during a Hollywood test screening this week they showed half of all theatergoers a placebo film...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


What A Year This Was!

Wow! Has it been 365 days already? It seems like just yesterday I was looking back on 2007. I guess it's true that time flies when you're having fun…Hollywood Fun! This year really took the cake, though. Twins for Bradgelina, Olympic mania, and the return of Morton Downey, Jr.! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's now point backwards to the year that was 2008....

Before we look back, here's the first of my famous In and Out selections, where I put it all on the line and tell you what we can say "au revoir" to in the coming year.

In for 2009: Hats. Nothing classes up a head like a hat.

Out for 2009: Sweatbands. Unless you're at a gym or running a marathon, I don't want to see these.

2008 was the year of the Jonas Bothers. Peppy, good looking, and they can dance, too. "Burning Up" was the song for the summer, fall, winter, and spring combined! Now, I love music, and I appreciate cryptic names, but I can't get my head around the Jonas Bothers. What a weird name! The Jonas Bothers…bothers whom exactly? It seems that they're all related, so you'd think that the Jonas Family would have been more appropriate.

2008 was the year of Stephanie Meyers. Since there wasn't a new Harry Potter book to line up for at midnight the day it was released, I had to stand in line for a midnight sale of the new book in the Twilight series. I didn't know anything about it, so I had to buy all four at once, but you know what? It was completely engrossing! I sat down and read about the 100-year-old vampire falling in love with the 17-year-old girl and it took me back to a more innocent time, when I was a young boy hoping for someone exotic and beautiful to come take me away from the boredom of high school. Fortunately, I discovered the Movies, and that was the only exotic affair I needed. Oh, and the great thing about Twilight was that the first movie in the series also came out this year, and I was able to stand in line for a midnight screening of that as well! Firsties!

In for 2009: Saying "Totes!" for "totally," or to provide an affirmation to something.

Out for 2009: Saying "Not!" to negate someone else's statement.

2008 was the year for Ashford and Simpson. Just when you think you've heard the last of them, this singing duo proved that they were still "Solid As A Rock" and had a baby boy named Bronx! Weirdly, the singer from the band Fall Out Boy was somehow involved as well. I know, I know…musicians. Am I right?

2008 was the year for Beverly Hills 90210. The teen drama that gave us Brenda, Brandon, Dylan, Steve, Kelly, Andrea, David, Donna, Valerie, Claire, Nat, Ray, Carly, Noah, Gina, and Matt came back with a vengeance! Only this new version is updated for today's kids, and has the edgier name 90210. The show has just started, but already Kelly and Brenda are fighting about Dylan! Just a bit of advice, ladies: You should put your differences aside and use your experiences to help this new generation of edgier teens avoid the same problems. I don't care how good the viewing is. Okay?

2008 was the year for Barrack Obamma. I know, it's not like me to be political, but this was certainly the most entertaining election I can remember. The president-elect brought his A-game and really got people excited for politics. It was also the year for Sarah Palin, who came into the race and electrified the other side of the aisle. She may have spent $150,000 on clothes, but if you ask me, it was totally worth it. That woman looked magnificent, and she had so much down-home spunk that you just wanted to listen to her tell it like it is all day. I won't say whom I voted for, though. We still live in America, where a person's vote stays in the booth.

2008 was the year of Mr. Harry Blackstone, who died at 86. You may remember him from his catty-but-oh-so-devilishly-accurate commentary on celebrity couture. Even in his advanced years, he could still look at what a celebrity was wearing for one night and really let him or her know that he didn't like it, and say as much in a sharply worded press release. And God bless him for it. Celebrities are emissaries to how people should look, and it doesn't do anyone any good when one of them is traipsing around like a poster child for a fashion don't. Since there seems to be a vacancy in critiquing celebrity fashion, maybe I should step in and fill the void. Or if not me, I know a certain Ms. Palin who might be suited to using her sass to tell it like it is. What say you, readers?

In for 2009: YouTube. Where else can you see cats riding vacuum cleaners?

Out for 2009: The Dancing Baby. I think it's time to change my screen saver.

2008 was the year for The High School Musical 3. The box-office sensation had everything you want from a movie–singing, dancing, and Norah Ephron's son Zach. I saw it four times, and I'm still hoping it shows up under my Christmas tree.

Well, that wraps up my 2008 wrap-up. If 2009 wants to top it, it's going to have to roll up its sleeves and really knock my socks off! Until then, I'll see you…on the Outside!