adBlockCheck

What Do You Get For The Man Who Already Has The Complete Fleetwood Mac Discography?

Top Headlines

Recent News

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

Mom Learns About New Vegetable

MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton?

Although she’s secured the Democratic presidential nomination, many voters across all demographics are still hesitant to vote for Hillary Clinton. The Onion breaks down the reasons Clinton is having a hard time luring reluctant voters.

Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

What Do You Get For The Man Who Already Has The Complete Fleetwood Mac Discography?

Well, Christmas is almost here, and as usual I’ve put off my holiday shopping until the last minute. It took me a while to figure out what I was going to get for everyone, but I’m just about ready to head over to the mall: I’m thinking a new pair of earrings for my wife, or maybe a bottle of that fancy perfume she likes, and for my kids, there’s always some hot new toy or video game gizmo that they just have to have, but I’m still completely out of ideas for what I’m going to get my brother Michael. I mean, this is someone who already owns the entire Fleetwood Mac discography, so what else is left to give him?

What the heck do you get for the man who has everything Fleetwood Mac ever recorded, including all 17 of their studio albums?

This happens to me every single year. Michael certainly doesn’t mind treating himself to the finer things in life, so when it comes time to find him a Christmas present, you quickly realize he’s already got everything he needs: Future Games, Tusk, Tango In The Night, everything. We’re talking all the compilations, all the live albums, all the limited-edition releases—he’s had ’em for years. This is the kind of guy who bought Say You Will the same day it came out, along with the deluxe edition bonus disc featuring the live version of “Peacekeeper” and Lindsey Buckingham’s cover of “Love Minus Zero/No Limit.”

How do you shop for someone like that? I mean, throw me a bone here!

The man is simply impossible. You name it, Michael’s already got it. Kiln House? Got it. Heroes Are Hard To Find? Got it. The BBC sessions collection? On both compact disc and vinyl. You can go all the way back to The Pious Bird Of Good Omen—the one with Jeremy Spencer playing slide—and Michael’s got it stacked up in his CD tower alongside every bonus track, outtake, and B-side the band ever committed to tape. He hunted down the reissue of Then Play On just for the new liner notes, for God’s sake!

And this means that when we’re all gathered around the Christmas tree tomorrow, I’m going to be sweating bullets while he unwraps some bootleg from the Mystery To Me tour that he probably already owns.

So, since he refuses to write a wish list, I’m forced to get creative. I don’t know, maybe I could get him a book, like a nice hardcover version of Storms: My Life With Lindsey Buckingham And Fleetwood Mac. Or I could replace his dog-eared copy of Mick Fleetwood’s autobiography. Or maybe the sheet music for “Landslide” so that he can play along on his acoustic.

And the worst part is, he always knows exactly the right gifts to give other people. He’s great at it. Like last year, when he got me that autographed Fleetwood Mac: 1969-1972 LP box set. Granted, I’m much easier to shop for, but still, he kills it every year.

Ugh, why is this so hard? If Michael had just pointed me in the right direction, I’d be able to buy him some Japanese import of one of their Peter Green–era singles, but he just couldn't make it that easy for me, could he? Instead, here I am on Christmas Eve, once again debating whether to just give up, get him a remastered version of Rumours to listen to in the car, and be done with it. Frankly, the holidays are stressful enough as it is without having to deal with this kind of thing.

I wonder if he needs a Stevie Nicks solo album.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close