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Your Safety Is Our Second Concern

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Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

KFC Introduces New Previously Owned 20-Piece Hot Wings

LOUISVILLE, KY—In an effort to meet the changing demands of its consumers, fast-food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken announced Wednesday that it has begun offering customers the option of purchasing, at a significant discount, a 20-piece box of pre-owned hot wings.

Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Describing them as “the best pretzels out there” and “the only ones [he] buy[s],” local resident Ned Carlisle expressed his firm loyalty to Snyder’s of Hanover–brand pretzels Tuesday.

New Mountain Dew Vows To Kill 99.9% Of Stomach Bacteria

PURCHASE, NY—Touting the beverage’s refreshing citrus taste, tongue-tingling carbonation, and prescription-strength antimicrobial properties, PepsiCo officials announced Wednesday that their newest product, Mountain Dew Code White, kills 99.9 percent of consumers’ stomach bacteria.

Heart Attack A Real Wake-Up Call For Man’s Insurance Provider

HARTFORD, CT—Saying the incident had forced them to completely rethink their past decisions about the man’s coverage and how they would approach his policy from here on out, Aetna executives reported Thursday that the recent heart attack of longtime plan member Michael Burns was a real wake-up call for the 163-year-old insurance company.

Big-Box Stores Vs. Small Businesses

While massive superstores like Walmart and Target have dominated the retail landscape for years, many shoppers are rejecting them in favor of smaller, locally owned shops. Here is a side-by-side comparison of the two options:

Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.

McDonald’s Announces New Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac

OAK BROOK, IL—Calling the new menu item a cool, refreshing way for consumers to finish their meals, McDonald’s officials introduced the Spearmint After-Dinner Big Mac during a press event Tuesday at the company’s corporate headquarters.
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Your Safety Is Our Second Concern

As CEO of Johnson Home Products, manufacturers of quality household appliances and furnishings since 1884, I would like to take a moment to assure you, our valued customer, that your safety is our number-two concern.

Whether you're using a Johnson food processor to prepare a delicious meal for your family, switching on your Johnson track-lighting system to read a book, or installing a new Johnson shelving unit in your children's playroom, you can feel confident knowing that your safety is right near the top of our list. In fact, it's almost number one.

It's a shame, but some companies these days tend to forget about the customer. Maybe it's because they've grown too big and have lost sight of what really matters. Or maybe it's because they just don't want to go the extra mile. Well, here at Johnson, we care about you and your well-being. In fact, it's practically what we care about most.

In every Johnson Home Products factory, there hangs a sign reminding each assembly-line worker what is most important as they put the nuts and bolts into the gas kitchen ranges, ceiling fans and garage-door openers that will find their way into homes like yours all across America. And right below that sign is a smaller, but still very readable, sign reminding those workers that product safety is also somewhat significant.

Even in the planning stages of a Johnson product, long before it reaches store shelves, we sit down and talk about what counts most. And almost every time, someone mentions consumer safety, usually within the first half-hour.

At the federally required Johnson Home Products testing facility in East Brunswick, NJ, we've learned to ask questions: Does this product comply with national standards? Does it pose a risk of any kind? Will it explode if dropped? Sooner or later, nearly all of these questions are brought up for consideration.

Some of those bigger companies, companies that take in more than our average annual revenue of $40 billion, think only about profit and the bottom line. But here at Johnson Home Products, we know there should also be time set aside to think about safety. Now, maybe the safety meeting is a little later in the day, and maybe it isn't mandatory, so not everyone shows up for it, but you'd better believe we're going to keep holding those meetings anyway.

In fact, you can be sure your safety occasionally crosses our mind, because we put the Johnson Pledge Of Quality on every box, right below the product warnings. As my grandfather, Josiah A. Johnson, said when he founded this company more than 100 years ago, "At Johnson, the customer comes second." That's right—not third, not fourth... second. And that's the Johnson promise.

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