New Triple-X Dinosaur Park Opens In Nevada
ELKO, NV—Crowds braved 95-degree heat and throngs of protestors to attend the opening of the Greater Nevada XXX Dinosaur Park Monday, a new...
50 states
Detroit Sold For Scrap
DETROIT—Mayor Kwame M. Kilpatrick decided to "act now, while we can still get a little something for it."
Kent State Basketball Team Massacred By Ohio National Guard In Repeat Of Classic 1970 Matchup
KENT, OH—History and tragedy repeated themselves on the Kent State campus Thursday as 12th-seeded MAC champion Kent State Golden Flashes were decimated in front ...
Thousands Of New Orleans Households Still Without Political Power
NEW ORLEANS (Dec. 18)—Nearly four months since Hurricane Katrina hit ground along the Central Gulf Coast, 40 percent of New Orleans households remain powerless.
Okie Hears There's Sam's Club Work In New Mexico
TULSA, OK—Day laborer Cal Thornton, driven from the Wal-Mart where his family worked the stockroom for generations, has heard tell of Sam's Club ...
Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
PITTSBURGH—A zombie-preparedness study, commissioned by Pittsburgh Mayor Tom Murphy and released Monday, indicates that the city could easily succumb to a devastating zombie attack.
Citing Slow Summer Box Office, Hollywood Calls It Quits
BURBANK, CA—Universal Studios joined DreamWorks SKG, Sony Pictures, Warner Bros., Paramount, and Fox Monday, when CEO Ron Meyer announced that the company is shutting ...
State Of Minnesota Too Polite To Ask For Federal Funding
ST. PAUL, MN—Although many of its highways and bridges are in severe disrepair, the traditionally undemanding state of Minnesota isn't comfortable asking for ...
'Ravaged' Named Florida's Official State Adjective
TALLAHASSEE, FL—Governor Jeb Bush announced Monday that Florida has adopted the word "ravaged" as its official state adjective. "In the past decade, parts of ...
Texas Environmentalists Lobby For Solar-Powered Electric Chair
AUSTIN, TX—Garrett Durning of the Texas Environmental Defense League has spent the last three months campaigning tirelessly for the installation of solar-powered electric chairs ...
New Strip Mall Of America Stretches Over 1/6th Of North Dakota
FARGO, ND—Representatives from the North Dakota Department of Commerce attended a ribbon-cutting ceremony Saturday for the new Strip Mall Of America, the state's ...
Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry
BOSTON—Justices of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled 5-2 Monday in favor of full, equal, and mandatory gay marriages for all citizens. The order ...
Typo Results In 10,000-Acre Wyoming Skate Park
JACKSON, WY—A simple typographical error in a proposal to set aside a scenic Big Horn Mountain valley for public recreation has resulted in the ...
