Bush Braces As Cindy Sheehan's Other Son Drowns In New Orleans
WASHINGTON, DC—Dynamic, well-liked Tyler Sheehan was found dead in the floodwaters, much to President Bush’s horror.
Activism
Many U.S. Cities Losing Battles To Preserve Their Burger Kings
CLEVELAND—Every day, 38-year-old Susan Tarsley takes a brisk walk through her tree-lined neighborhood. At each turn, she is reminded of the changes brought on ...
Million Robot March Attended By Exactly 1,000,000 Robots
DC—The Million Robot March, an orderly demonstration for increased rights for cyber-mechanical servants, was attended by exactly 1 million robots Sunday. "Statement: We demand ...
Habitrail For Humanity Under Fire
PAYNEVILLE, KY—Habitrail For Humanity, the faith-based, non-profit group that builds networks of affordable, transparent-tube housing for needy families, has come under intense criticism for ...
National Poetry Month Raises Awareness Of Poetry Prevention
NEW YORK—This month marks the 10th National Poetry Month, a campaign created in 1996 to raise public awareness of the growing problem of poetry ...
The Minutemen
A group of volunteers calling themselves the Minutemen began standing sentry on the U.S. side of the Arizona-Mexico border last week to watch for ...
College Student Does Nothing For Tibet Over Summer
BURLINGTON, VT—As a result of college junior Becca Davis' lack of activism, the Tibetan freedom cause has been set back months.
Deadbeat Dads March On Las Vegas
LAS VEGAS—As many as 40,000 deadbeat dads descended on Las Vegas Friday for a massive, weekend-long show of non-support for their children.
Humanitarian Aid Check Blown Before It Arrives
LILONGWE, MALAWI—A much-needed humanitarian aid check from the United Nations to Malawi was "totally blown" by the beleaguered Southern African nation before the actual ...
Bush Begins Hunger Strike To Protest Human-Rights Abuses In Nepal
WASHINGTON, DC—Against strenuous objections from his advisors, President Bush began a hunger strike Monday to protest human-rights abuses in Nepal, vowing to subsist solely ...
All Proceeds No Longer Going To Charity
NEW YORK— Nearly three months after the Sept. 11 disaster, traditional capitalism is reasserting itself, as profits are once again being kept by the corporations ...
6,000 Runners Fail To Discover Cure For Breast Cancer
ATLANTA—Despite their diligent, dedicated running, the 6,000-plus participants in Sunday's 5K Race For The Cure did not find a cure for breast ...
70 Percent Of World's Population Could Use All-Star Benefit Concert
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND—According to a study released Monday by the United Nations Economic and Social Council, 4.2 billion people—a full 70 percent of ...
Dinty Moore Breaks Long Silence On Terrorism With Full-Page Ad
NEW YORK—Nearly two weeks after the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, the makers of Dinty Moore beef stew finally weighed in ...
Community Rallies To Save Eyesore
HUBBARD, IA—Hubbard residents came out in force Monday to protest the planned Sept. 1 demolition of an unsightly, 1930s-era silo to make room for ...
Partygoers Drunkenly Recite 4-H Pledge
MISSOULA, MT—The 4-H pledge was drunkenly recalled Saturday, when a trio of former 4-H members recited the international youth organization's oath between swigs ...
Richard Grieco's Star Power Inadvertently Donated To Goodwill
LOS ANGELES–Former 21 Jump Street and Booker star Richard Grieco accidentally gave his star power to charity Monday, when a truck collecting for Goodwill ...
Few Animals Harmed In Making Of Film
HOLLYWOOD, CA–Producers of the upcoming Sony Pictures historical epic Genghis Khan assured animal-rights activists Monday that "practically no animals were harmed in the making ...
