ETNA, PA—Moments after watching him finish his fifth alcoholic beverage at the Crow’s Nest Bar and Grill Thursday night, sources reported local man ...

WAUKEGAN, IL—Without any concern for what his self-destructive habits are doing to him and to his relationship with the Lord, future born-again Christian Travis ...

WOODRIDGE, IL—Old Milwaukee beer announced Friday the launch of a new series of commercials featuring a group of friends despondently contemplating suicide while drinking ...

SENECA, OR—Owner and founder of Fossil Bed Brewery Dave Walker, 39, reportedly struggled Saturday to find a way to work his 5-year-old Labrador retriever ...

CHICAGO—Despite a lack of divine intervention by the Son of God or any other higher power, area man Tom Wendt has somehow managed to ...

According to New Zealand climatologist Jim Salinger, climate change may result in reduced malted barley, which would limit beer production. What do...

BISBEE, AZ—Local man James Fitzner, 42, was able to successfully predict within seven seconds that a recent 30-second TV commercial was...

LOUISVILLE, KY—Self-described party dude Phil issued a strongly worded recommendation to fellow houseguests at 3:15 a.m. Saturday, urging the...

NEW YORK—Arguing that area bachelor Gary Tate, 34, is "becoming too old for this lifestyle," hundreds of representatives from the New York...

DALLAS—A majority of 7-Eleven shareholders approved a $4.35 buyout offer Tuesday from Dean Lindell, 23, for a six-pack of Busch Light...

SIOUX CITY, IA—Patrons of the Clover Leaf Tavern expressed dismay Saturday after a fight between Jeffrey Kline, 32, and James Dougherty, 30,...

COLUMBUS, OH—The skanks would neither confirm nor deny that the kiss would involve tongue, forcing many bargoers to wait and continuously eye the suggestive ...

ATHENS, OH—Keith Bonifer, 34, a regular and frequently intoxicated patron of Araby's Pub, impressed fellow customers Tuesday by accurately...

YPSILANTI, MI—Due to outside influence and unforeseen events, the having-one-beer plan that 29-year-old Keith Flemming devised at the outset of Monday evening went awry.

DENVER—Eddie Meagher, a bartender at Madhatter's Pub, reported that he was "deeply hurt" by an unfinished Long Island Ice Tea left behind by ...