Dear Slaughterhouse Killing Floor Worker: My wife and I recently moved from Florida to Minnesota, where I was offered a much better job. Problem is ...

SCHAUMBURG, IL—A era in discount merchandising came to an end Sunday, when the last of the famed Sane Freddie’s electronics stores closed its ...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Ushering in a new era in American education, U.S. Secretary of Education William Norwell announced Monday that all U.S.

ATLANTA, GA—In a moving display of the Olympic spirit, the First Baptist Church of Atlanta will burn ceremonially throughout the entirety of the 1996 ...

Olympic mascot Izzy is at it again! When he's not appearing in corporate product placements, he's teaching kids worldwide that America has no ...

REDMOND, WA—In a move designed to hasten the inevitable, billionaire Microsoft tycoon Bill Gates announced yesterday that from now on, he will be getting ...

HOUSTON—The international aerospace community was shocked Monday when the experimental new Phoebus 3 Space Shuttle rocketed into space prematurely, manned only with two bumbling ...

ATLANTA—U.S. Olympic gymnast Dominique Miller, 15, considered a favorite to bring home the gold in Atlanta, achieved her lifelong dream yesterday, killing her ...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—U.S. Drug Czar Richard B. McTaggart, the nation’s Commander in Chief in the War on Drugs, held a press conference ...

FORT WAYNE, IN—The addition of walnuts significantly improved an area chicken salad Monday, resulting in a more enjoyable taste experience for its eaters.

HARTFORD, CT—It was reported yesterday that WLTZ Lite FM, 94.5 on your radio dial, is Hartford’s number-one choice for soft, adult-contemporary hits.

WASHINGTON, DC—Computer users are eagerly anticipating the new updated version of Bob Dole due in stores next week.