Automotive
New Alternative-Fuel SUV Will Deplete World's Hydrogen By 2070
DETROITFord announced a Sept. 3 rollout date for its new Ford Foresight, a hydrogen-powered SUV that, if it reaches sales projections, will deplete the ...
Heartbreaking Country Ballad Paralyzes Trucking Industry
NASHVILLE, TN—At any given time, 45 percent of all truckers are idling on the side of the road listening to this ballad of heartbreak ...
Transformer Refuses To Change Back Into Volkswagen
CYBERTRONFollowing an intense battle with Megatron and his evil Decepticons Monday, former robot-in-disguise Bumblebee refused to revert to his natural state as a yellow ...
New Anger-Powered Cars May Revolutionize The Way We Drive
DETROIT—Drawing motive power from the unbridled temper of drivers, road-rage-fueled cars may change the way Americans drive.
Stick Shift Bragged About
NEW YORK—Sources say Gary Baumgarten, an accountant in the bursar's office at Barnard College, introduced his stick shift into the conversation again Monday ...
Troubled Teens Mock Social Worker's Car
CHICAGO—Inner-city teens facing socioeconomic inequities nonetheless take solace in the fact that their social worker has a sorry-ass car.
Man Always Insists You Toss Him Keys Rather Than Just Hand Them To Him
LITTLE ROCK, AR—Area resident Russ Squirek insists on having his keys tossed to him rather than handed, sources reported Monday. "It's always, 'Yo ...
Husband Chooses Car Based On Lowest Passenger-Side Impact Rating
LINCOLN, NE— Husband Bruce Menden purchased a Geo Metro Tuesday, selecting the car on the basis of its rock-bottom passenger-side impact rating in Consumer Reports ...
Driver's Ed Class Finally Gets To See Legendary Safety Film
NEW BEDFORD, MA– After months of eager anticipation, the second-period driver's-education class at Lincoln Memorial High School finally got to see the legendary highway ...
Area Man Perpetually In Process Of Buying Or Selling Car
MARION, IL—Local resident Don Liman’s search for the ideal car is entering its 13th year.














