Back To School
Housemates Reject Third-Roommate Debt-Relief Plan
LAWRENCE, KS—Chad Doogan, 20, a resident of the economically ravaged back bedroom at 1409 Oakwood Drive, received a huge setback Monday, when a humanitarian ...
Band Teacher Gay In Retrospect
PINE BLUFF, AR—Recalling that Mr. Moreland wore an ascot on concert days, former student Gary Dolan, 32, concluded that he was gay.
Casual Sex Surprisingly Formal
DAYTONA BEACH, FL—After several hours of drunken Spring Break revelry Monday, Ron Viselic, 19, and Becky Pell, 18, returned to Pell's motel room ...
Police Interruption Hastily Written Into Student Film
KNOXVILLE, TN—Hassled by police for not having a shooting permit, University of Tennessee sophomore Eric Draper, 19, hastily rewrote his student film Monday to ...
Thousands Of High-School Sweethearts Prepare For Post-Graduation Breakup
WASHINGTON, DC—In a time-honored annual ritual, thousands of high-school seniors across the nation are cramming for final exams, trying on their graduation gowns, and ...
Teen Sex Linked To Drugs And Alcohol, Reports Center For Figuring Out Really Obvious Things
BOSTON—A definitive causal relationship exists between drug and alcohol use and teen sex, the Center For Figuring Out Really Obvious Things reported Monday.
Ask A High-School Student Who Didn't Do The Required Reading
Randy Friel is a high-school student whose syndicated advice column, Ask A High-School Student Who Didn't Do The Required Reading, appears in more than ...
Government Encroachment On Individual Liberties At All-Time High, Says Guy At Party
ANN ARBOR, MI—Individual freedom is ebbing in the U.S. due to steady government encroachment, Ann Arbor resident and camera-store employee Adam Britt told ...
Time Running Out On Second-Keg Fund Drive
TALLAHASSEE, FL—Keg-drive organizers at Florida State University's Delta Sigma Epsilon fraternity said they are "still significantly short" of the $52 needed to purchase ...
Ask A Frat Brother Who Just Accidentally Drowned A Pledge During A Hazing Gone Horribly Awry
Zach Peters is a syndicated advice columnist whose weekly column, Ask A Frat Brother Who Just Accidentally Drowned A Pledge During A Hazing Gone Horribly ...















