Basketball
Cool Basketball Fan Calls Sport 'B-Ball'
HOBBS, NM—According to friends of the man, area cool basketball fan Kip Conroy calls the sport "b-ball," even though that is not the sport ...
Metta World Peace
Mr. World Peace changed his name last year in order to show he'd rejected the hooliganism that got him in trouble as Ron Artest ...
Coach Draws Up Patented 'Unbalanced, Highly Contested 3-Pointer' Play For Game's Final Possession
LAFAYETTE, IN—Coach Brian Janssen, whose scrappy but undersized Wildcats are trailing their heavily favored crosstown rivals 45-47 with eight seconds left in their big ...
Pathetic Bobcats Owner Again Regaling Players With Tales of His NBA Glory Days
CHARLOTTE, NC—To the exasperation of his struggling team, the owner of the Charlotte Bobcats has been hanging around the locker room once again this ...
John Calipari
Newly minted SEC Coach of the Year John Calipari has led more schools to the No. 1 seed, and had more victories vacated from the ...
Knicks Doctors Continue Carefully Reinjuring Carmelo Anthony's Groin
NEW YORK—As the Jeremy Lin phenomenon continues to lift hopes and spirits among the Knicks faithful and basketball fans nationwide, team doctors are doing ...
Soccer Star Diagnosed With Chronic MLS
The Get Out Of My Face guys dip into the mailbag to answer each other's questions about Tony La Russa's World Series sex ...
Syracuse Leaves Big East For Woman Named 'Misti'
SYRACUSE, NY—In a hastily delivered statement from the passenger side of the young woman’s lime-green Hyundai Tiburon, Syracuse University announced Sunday it was ...
Miami's Alleged Violations
As the University of Miami is investigated for illegal dealings between players and boosters, Onion Sports offers this handy guide to what is alleged to ...
Brawl Highlights Decades Of Tension Between China, Georgetown
BEIJING—The bench-clearing brawl during last week’s exhibition game between the Georgetown Hoyas and China’s Bayi Rockets was merely the latest incident in ...
Shaq Prepares For New TNT Job By Doing Research On Talking
ORLANDO, FL—In an effort to prepare for his new analyst job on TNT’s Inside The NBA, 15-time All-Star center Shaquille O’Neal has ...
Tim Duncan Sends Teammates Google+ Invitations For Fifth Consecutive Day
SAN ANTONIO—For nearly a week, Spurs center Tim Duncan has reportedly emailed his teammates invitations to join him on Google’s new social networking ...
Nation To Always Remember Yao Ming’s 22-Point, 8-Rebound Game Against Milwaukee
HOUSTON—Since Yao Ming’s intention to retire from the NBA was first reported last Friday, basketball fans across the country have been reflecting on ...
Dirk Nowitzki
The Mavericks' 7-footer just shrugged off cries of "soft" and defeated the Heat's Big Three to pick up a championship trophy and a Finals ...
America Just Now Remembering How Much They Hate Dallas
WASHINGTON—After feelings of elation over the Miami Heat losing the NBA Finals started to fade this week, Americans across the country suddenly began to ...
Charles Barkley: ‘There Were Only Ever 3 Straight NBA Players’
CHICAGO — During Monday’s pregame broadcast, TNT basketball analyst and NBA Hall of Famer Charles Barkley confirmed that there have been only three straight players ...
Report: Kevin Durant’s Success Could Lead To More NBA Teams Drafting Tall Players
NEW YORK—Several NBA scouts confirmed Monday that Thunder forward Kevin Durant's recent success in both the regular season and playoffs could prompt more ...




















