Jason Kidd Demands Trade To Peanutopolis
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Disgruntled Nets point guard Jason Kidd held a press conference Tuesday in order to publicly demand a trade to...
Basketball
Shaq Asks To Have Injured Hip Replaced With Lasers
LOS
ANGELES—Following a medical appointment Monday in which he sought
treatment for a hip injury that has sidelined him for the past five...
Sheepish Timberwolves Fire Placekicker
MINNEAPOLIS—The Minnesota Timberwolves gave fresh ammunition to critics of their recent personnel moves Monday night when they made...
LeBron James
Onion Sports turns its critical eye on the NBA's freakishly talented manchild.
Confused David Stern Thought Gilbert Arenas Was Where Toronto Raptors Played
NEW YORK—Upon hearing reports that star guard Gilbert Arenas was recovering well from two surgeries on his left knee, NBA commissioner David...
Confusing 24-Player Trade Sends You, Scottie Pippen To Utah Jazz
SALT LAKE CITY—A multi-million-dollar blockbuster trade involving 24 players, six professional basketball teams, two hockey teams, and the...
Spurs vs. Lakers
Onion Sports looks ahead to the blockbuster December 13 meeting of these two heavyweight teams.
'Fire Isiah' Chant Breaks Out During Knicks' Front-Office Meeting
NEW YORK—A meeting held at Madison Square Garden Wednesday between New York Knicks ownership and head coach Isiah Thomas was interrupted more than half ...
Kendrick Perkins Under Assumption He's One Of Celtics' 'Big Three'
BOSTON—Celtics center Kendrick Perkins is operating under the assumption that he is one of the team's "Big Three" players, as evidenced by...
Shaquille O'Neal Stands Flat-Footed Under Basket For Entire Game
MIAMI—In a 10-point, three-rebound performance against the Seattle Supersonics last Wednesday, once-dominant 35-year-old Miami Heat center...
LeBron James Considering Quitting Basketball, Joining Cast Of SNL
NEW YORK—Following a recent game in New York, Cleveland Cavaliers forward and league MVP LeBron James confessed his desire to quit...
NFL Midseason Report 2007
Upon reaching the midpoint of the 2007 NFL season, Onion Sports lists the notable moments, achievements, and situations in pro football thus...
NBA 2007 Season Predictions
As the new NBA season opens, Onion Sports analysts take a look at the league's trends and tendencies in an attempt to predict the ...
Midnight Madness
As the 2007 NCAA basketball season gets underway, Onion Sports reports on the midnight festivities on campuses across the nation:
WNBA Season Highlights
Onion Sports looks back at the best moments from the 11th season of women's professional basketball.
Tim Duncan Staring At Wall Right Now
SAN ANTONIO—Two-time NBA MVP Tim Duncan has been sitting in his living room next to his packed gym bag and clad in his Spurs ...
Yao Ming's Self-Written Wedding Vows Include How He Loves The Top Of His Wife's Head
SHANGHAI—Houston Rockets and Chinese national team center Yao Ming, 7'6", married his longtime 6'3" girlfriend, Ye Li, last week in a...
