Black Guy Asks Nation For Change
CHICAGO—Some residents reported seeing the black guy waving wildly and quoting from the Bible, while others said they spotted him shouting about global warming.
Campaigns
Americans Announce They're Dropping Out Of Presidential Race
WASHINGTON—Intense media coverage of trivial issues, partisan bickering, and the relentless exploitation of 9/11 discouraged Americans from making it to Election Day.
Fred Thompson Fears Presidential Run Will Typecast Him As Politician
WASHINGTON, DC—Veteran character actor and Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson expressed worries to reporters Tuesday that a...
Clinton Blasts Obama For Slamming Edwards Jab
WASHINGTON, DC—Dissent continued to plague the 2008 presidential campaign this week, as Sen. Hillary Clinton had harsh words for Sen. Barack...
Mysterious Congressman Challenges Leading Candidates To Debate At Dawn
WASHINGTON, DC—From atop the broad back of his steed, LaFollette, the Mysterious Congressman (D-WI) warned of his intentions to confront opponents with deadly wit.
Clinton Dropping Out Of Iowa?
An internal memo from from a Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign staffer urged her not to run in the Iowa caucus, stating that she would ...
Hillary Raises $26 M
Hillary Clinton raised $26 million for the first quarter of 2007, in addition to the $10 million left over from her Senate run. What do ...
Hillary Clinton Tries To Woo Voters By Rescinding Candidacy
DES MOINES, IA—"For the first time, she's really speaking to the whole nation," said pundit Chris Matthews about Hillary Clinton's latest bid ...
Karl Rove Accused Of Throwing Midterm Elections
Putting off their victory celebrations, Democrats struggled to figure out what machinations Rove had already put into motion with the surprise electoral sweep.
Critics Accuse Joe Biden Of Running For President For Political Reasons
WASHINGTON, DC—Veteran presidential candidate Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE) is once again facing criticism that his bid for the nation's highest...
Actual Governing To Resume
WASHINGTON, DC—Following 16 months of non-stop campaigning, members of the executive and legislative branches of the U.S. government returned to the task of ...
Republicans Call For Privatization Of Next Election
WASHINGTON, DC—Citing the "extreme inefficiency" of this month's U.S. presidential election, key Republicans called for future elections to be conducted by the ...
Kerry: Stem-Cell Research May Hold Cure To Ailing Campaign
ROCHESTER, MN—In a major policy address at the Mayo Clinic Tuesday, Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry drew a sharp distinction between himself and President ...
Kerry Vows To Raise Wife's Taxes
BOSTON—Campaigning in his home state, John Kerry vowed Monday to raise taxes on his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry, whose worth is estimated to be ...
Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry
WASHINGTON, DC—George Washington Memorial Hospital is struggling to deal with an influx of Republicans with concussions, broken bones, and internal injuries suffered during the ...
Cheney Urged Not To Work Blue During Convention
WASHINGTON, DC—At the insistence of members of the Republican Party, Vice-President Dick Cheney agreed not to work blue during the Republican National Convention, GOP ...
Swing States Roughed Up By Bush, Kerry Operatives
WASHINGTON, DC—The 22 battleground states in the 2004 presidential election said Monday that they have received threats, both direct and veiled, from Kerry and ...
