Children, Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In Harry Potter Craze
HOLLYWOOD, CA—The fantastical universe created by J.K. Rowling speaks to the child in all of us, whether young or way too old.
Children
New Harry Potter Film Turns Children On To Magic Of Not Reading
LOS ANGELES—Around the world, children are being turned on to the magic of not reading by the blockbuster film Harry Potter And The Sorcerer ...
Mad Lib Filled With Swears
PORTLAND, ME—The popular party amusement Mad Libs was misused for profane purposes Monday, when Peter Leff, a Portland-area 12-year-old, filled the blank spaces on ...
Third-Grade Scientists Successfully Vaporize Water
GRESHAM, OR—In a breakthrough that has electrified the world's 10-and-under scientific community, Mrs. Wagner's third-grade class successfully vaporized water under controlled classroom ...
Actor's Parents Proud He's Playing A Doctor
SOUTHFIELD, MI—Gail and Milt Greenblatt, parents of soap-opera star Brett Green, are beaming with pride that their son is a doctor on ABC's ...
Parents Regret Letting Child Name Dog
MANKATO, MN—Bruce and Gail Kreuter expressed regret Monday over their decision to let their 8-year-old son Brian choose the name of the family's ...
Diary Lied To
GRAND JUNCTION, CO—Marnie Powell, a seventh-grader at Grand Junction Middle School, lied to her diary Monday, filling the journal with several out-and-out fabrications. "I ...
Arab-American Third-Grader Returns From Recess Crying, Saying He Didn't Kill Anyone
ROYAL OAK, MI—Eddie Bahri, 8, a Lincoln Elementary School third-grader of Iraqi descent, tearfully denied accusations during morning recess Tuesday that he was a ...
Talking To Your Child About The WTC Attack
The events of Sept. 11 are extremely difficult for a child to understand. What should you tell your child when he or she asks why ...
Elementary Schooler Clearly Just Learned To Swear
ALEXANDRIA, LA–Lakeview Elementary School first-grader Ian Schweder has clearly just taken his first steps into the world of swearing, classroom sources reported Monday. "He ...
Dodgers' Playoff Hopes Dashed Following Acquisition Of Belly Itcher
LOS ANGELES–Trailing the first-place Arizona Diamondbacks by three games in the National League West, the Los Angeles Dodgers dealt their own playoff chances a ...
Child Lies For Parents' Own Good
CONCORD, NH–Area 9-year-old Andrew Mota lied to his parents Monday, telling them that he was at the park after school and sparing them the ...
First-Grade Teacher Apprehends Urinator
NEWARK, DE–The mysterious Coat Room Urinator, who for weeks terrorized Mrs. Collinsworth's first-grade class at Lakeview Elementary School, was brought to justice Monday ...
Depressed NRA Member Half-Hoping Son Will Accidentally Shoot Him
ROUND ROCK, TX–Despondent from the loss of his job and his recent divorce, National Rifle Association lifetime member Patrick Schramm is half-hoping for an ...
