College football
On The Fake Dead Girlfriend Of Notre Dame Star Manti Te’o
Deadspin reported Wednesday that Lennay Kekua, the girlfriend of celebrated Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o who was said to have died of leukemia and ...
Texas A&M Fans Celebrate 1999 Alamo Bowl Victory Over Penn State
COLLEGE STATION, TX—Following the NCAA’s decision Monday to vacate all of Penn State’s wins from 1998 through 2011, thousands of Texas A ...
Sandusky Angry He's Not Going To Be Allowed To Tell The Tender, Romantic Side Of The Story
BELLEFONTE, PA—As jurors began deliberations Thursday on charges that he sexually abused 10 boys over a 15-year period, former Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky ...
Big 12 Agrees To Annual Bowl Loss Against SEC
IRVING, TX—Keeping with years of tradition of getting blown out in demoralizing defeats to its dominating competitor, the Big 12 Conference confirmed Monday it ...
Greg Schiano Leaves Spotlight Of Rutgers Football For Low-Profile Buccaneers Job
TAMPA, FL—New Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Greg Schiano explained to reporters Friday his decision to leave Rutgers, saying the mid-Florida football team offered his ...
Bill O'Brien Promises To Never Uphold The Traditions And Values Penn State Now Stands For
STATE COLLEGE, PA—New head coach Bill O'Brien held an introductory press conference Saturday in which he explicitly promised to never, ever uphold the ...
Unpopular BCS Crowns Alabama National Champions, Endorses Rick Santorum, Spits On World War II Veteran, Pushes Elderly Woman Down Flight Of Stairs, Wishes Osama Bin Laden Were Still Alive
NEW ORLEANS—During a postgame ceremony Monday in which the Bowl Championship Series controversially awarded the Alabama Crimson Tide the 2012 NCAA championship trophy...
BCS National Championship Game
Alabama gets a mulligan and a chance to lose to LSU for the second time this year in a championship game that doubles as proof ...
Is Serena Williams Sexy Or Not? 'Get Out Of My Face' Takes On The Burning Question
This GOOMF is a mouthful of Sour Fish for Doc Brooks, who regurgitates a big hunk of Notre Dame and opines on the sexiness of ...
NCAA Football Recruitment Reduced To Series Of Winks, Eyebrow Raises
INDIANAPOLIS—The NCAA unveiled a new set of college football recruitment rules Monday, restricting teams from communicating with high school athletes using anything other than ...
Top 2011 College Football Matchups
Another great college season is upon us, and Onion Sports analysts have made their picks for the year’s most thrilling games.
2011 College Football Preseason Poll
With college football season almost upon us, it's time to take a look at where the top teams rank in the preseason polls.
Penn State Players All Worried They're Going To Be The One Who Accidentally Kills Joe Paterno
STATE COLLEGE, PA—Hospitalized after a receiver crashed into him on the field last Sunday, Joe Paterno’s return to practice Wednesday came as a ...
Report: 100 Percent Of College Football Players Receiving Benefits Of Being College Football Players
INDIANAPOLIS—An exhaustive three-year internal investigation has confirmed that a full 100 percent of college football players receive the advantages that come with being a ...
Center Worried He Did Something To Make Quarterback Call So Many Shotgun Formations
EUGENE, OR—Oregon Ducks center Jordan Holmes expressed concern Saturday that he may have said or done something to make sophomore quarterback Darron Thomas call ...
Coaches Thought BCS Computer Would At Least Make A Noise When Boise State Lost
INDIANAPOLIS—A number of college football coaches expressed disappointment last Friday following Boise State's 34-31 loss to Nevada, saying they were disappointed to learn ...
